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Parsha Perspectives: Do No Harm (Behar)

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“And you shall not wrong, one man his fellow Jew, and you shall fear God, for I am the Lord, your God (Vayikra 25:17).”

The Torah is replete with laws that govern our inter-personal conduct. We are taught how to treat each person and the property of the other. We are obligated to help another in need and to be sensitive to the challenges and difficulties of our fellow Jew. So, what is the Torah coming to teach us in the above quoted verse? We are commanded to help and aid when another is in need. Is it necessary to tell us that we “shall not wrong” another? What is being added here that has not been conveyed in the commandments that precede and follow these words?

The Talmud (Bava Metziah 58b) explains that this verse comes to warn us against a very specific transgression – wronging another with our words.

Our Rabbis taught: “You shall not therefore wrong one man his fellow Jew;” Scripture refers to verbal wrongs. E.g., if a man is a penitent, one must not say to him, ‘Remember your former deeds.’ If he is the son of proselytes he must not be taunted with, ‘Remember the deeds of your ancestors.’ If he is a proselyte and comes to study the Torah, one must not say to him, ‘Shall the mouth that ate unclean and forbidden food, abominable and creeping things, come to study the Torah which was uttered by the mouth of Omnipotence!’ If he is visited by suffering, afflicted with disease, or has buried his children, one must not speak to him as his companions spoke to Job, ‘Remember, I pray thee, whoever perished, being innocent?’

Words are powerful and can deliver a blow far more debilitating than any fist. The Talmud teaches us important principles in the realm of interpersonal conduct. Don’t dwell on things of the past that cannot be changed. Don’t tell a person that as a result of his past mistakes he has limited his future. Don’t try to give insight into the suffering of another – true omniscience is reserved for God. Every person carries a burden of their past. Every person has things they wish they could change but cannot. Every person has things they wish they could do over, but life does not afford us that opportunity. Be sensitive to this reality – be sensitive to the burden of the other.

But there is another message as well. The great Chassidic leader, Rav Simcha Bunim of Pshischa (1765-1827) writes, “Who is a Chassid (pious individual)? One who goes above and beyond that which is required. The Torah tells us not to wrong another – this is the law. Piety, to go above and beyond requires that we not wrong ourselves.”

The Rebbe teaches us a profound lesson. We all make mistakes. We do things that are wrong. We engage in behaviors and actions that we know are beneath us and undermine our personal growth. As a result, we begin to look down on ourselves, we begin to feel we are worthless, devoid of potential and lack any prospect of becoming holy and significant. Don’t wrong yourself. Don’t compound the sin by losing faith in yourself. It is important to remember that despite engaging in negative activity – at our core, we are good. God created each of us with a beautiful and pure soul, and no matter how many mistakes we make, this soul remains intact; this soul remains unsullied.

And you shall not wrong, one man his fellow Jew, simple words that yield profound lessons. Words hurt and can create irreparable damage. Don’t visit pain upon the other – don’t visit pain upon yourself. We face so many challenges, both personal and national. We have obstacles and hurdles that we must overcome. Don’t create additional obstacles for another with hurtful and harmful words. Don’t create additional barriers for yourself with negative self-perception and image. Build up the other, build up yourself, and pave the way for accomplishment and fulfillment. (From 5779)

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Parsha Perspectives: Make it Count (Emor)

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And you shall count for yourselves, from the morrow of the rest day from the day you bring the Omer as a wave offering seven weeks; they shall be complete. (Vayikra 23:15).

Nestled amongst the many mitzvos of this week’s parsha is the Omer offering. This was a barley offering, brought on the second day of Pesach which allowed the consumption of chadash (new crop of grain). In addition to the offering, we are commanded to count the days between Pesach and Shavuos. We are to count, seven weeks, forty-nine days, and on the fiftieth day, we celebrate the Yom Tov of Shavuos. This count creates a bridge between Pesach and Shavuos and we are reminded that our emancipation was to enable us to self-actualize through the acceptance of the Torah.

There is an interesting halachik debate as to how to view the mitzvah of counting the days of the Omer. Do we look at this count as forty-nine independent mitzvos? Or is it one long mitzvah comprised of forty-nine parts? The nafka mina (practical difference) is quite significant. What should one do if one missed a day of the count? If you accept the view that each day is an independent mitzvah, then missing one day does not preclude you from continuing forward. However, if you accept the premise that it is one long mitzvah then missing one day would preclude you from continuing on. Halacha L’Maaseh (practically speaking) we accept a hybrid approach. If one misses a day, one must continue to count, albeit without a beracha (blessing).

This approach resonates with life importance as well. How do we look at time? Do we look at time as incremental, individual days or as a continuum? Or to perhaps say it a little differently, how do we gauge a successful life? Is a successful life measured in terms of how one has spent their weeks, months, and years, or is it measured in how we use our days? Of course, the answer is both. To live a meaningful and therefore, successful life, we must develop intermediate and long-term goals. What do we want to accomplish? Who do we want to become? Where do we want to end up? After we identify these goals, we must make a plan to get there. But the thing about long-term goals is that – they are long term. I do not always see movement and momentum with them every day which is why we must also focus on how we use the day. Each and every day is filled with so much opportunity for growth, meaning, and fulfillment. Each day offers us the opportunity to make a difference in our own lives and in the lives of others. What do we each do with the gift of today? How can I take the hours that have been granted to me and make them into something special? This is the dual message of Sefiras HaOmer. Count seven weeks, but at the same time, count forty-nine days. Make a long-term plan but also find the strength to maximize the day.

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Parsha Perspectives: Morality, Moderation and Maturation (Kedoshim)

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“And the Lord spoke to Moses, saying, Speak to the entire congregation of the children of Israel, and say to them, you shall be holy, for I, the Lord, your God, am holy.” (Vayikra 19:1-3)

We strive for it, we yearn for it, yet we find it difficult to define. We translate the word Kedusha as holiness, but what does it mean to be holy? How can holiness be measured? How do we know if we have been successful in becoming holy people?

The commentaries provide many insights. The Midrash explains that the definition of holiness is “Divine emulation.” Whatever God does, we are charged to do the same. The Talmud elaborates, “Just as God clothed the naked (Adam and Chava), so shall you clothe the naked. Just as God visits the sick (as He visited with Avraham after the bris), so shall you visit the sick…” The Talmud’s examples are focused on chessed (acts of charitable kindness), and so it would seem that the highest form of Divine emulation is to be a Baal Chessed, a kind, giving and charitable person. True Kedusha, pure holiness, lies in the ability to transcend the self and focus on the other.

Rashi provides another definition: “Separate yourself from immorality and sin.” Core holiness is defined by one’s ability to fight against the urges, desires, and wants that often debase us. God can tolerate our shortcomings and mistakes, but we must strive to be a moral nation. Without morality (specifically sexual morality), we are no different than animals. Holiness is the ability to resist temptation and remain on the proper path of life.

Ramban (Nachmanidies) explains that holiness means moderation. Learn to limit yourself even with those things which are permitted to you. The true indication of holiness is the ability to exercise restraint even in those areas in which one can technically overindulge. The trait of restraint is perhaps the most important ingredient in successful living. It is easy to lose oneself in the (permitted) pleasures of this world. We must learn to exercise restraint in the world of the permitted to ensure that we do not cross the line into the world of the illicit. We must learn to say that just because we can have it doesn’t mean we should. This ability to exercise restraint ensures that we can each master our individual wants and passions and not become slaves to them.

Rav Menachem Mendel of Vorka (1779-1848) looks at this command in a dramatically different fashion. The Rebbe asks, “Is it truly possible and is it fair to ask man to aspire to this level of holiness? Rather, God is not asking us to be like the angels, for this is impossible for physical, carnal man. God simply asks us L’hiyos Kodesh b’madreyga she’hu omeyd bah (be holy wherever you are and wherever you stand), achieve holiness on whatever level you may be, in whatever state you may find yourself.”

God is teaching us to find and achieve holiness in all we do. Often, we compartmentalize holiness. We are holy in certain areas and mundane in others. We may be kadosh (holy) in Shul, yet mundane in the workplace. We may be holy when speaking to God, yet ordinary in the way we speak to others. The Rebbe teaches us that we must infuse holiness in all we do, B’Chol Matzav She’Tihiyu Bo (in every situation that you find yourself). Everything we do in life can serve a higher purpose. When we are in the workplace, we can make a Kiddush Hashem (sanctification of God’s name) by conducting ourselves with honesty and integrity. When walking on the street, we can be holy by proactively greeting the other – Jew and Gentile alike. When we watch a sunrise, we can see the greatness of God’s creation. Everything we do can be infused with holiness and meaning.

The Rebbe takes this idea one step further. The real definition of holiness is pushing yourself just a bit further. The enemy of holiness is not impurity or sin; it is complacency. Kedoshim Tihiyu, B’Chol Matzav She’Tihiyu Bo, Hiskadshu V’Alu Kim’ah (be holy, in every situation, in every state of being – sanctify yourself and raise yourself even just a little bit) – just a little bit. All God asks of us is just to try a little harder. Wherever you are holding in life, try to nudge yourself a bit further along your personal, sacred path. God does not ask for perfection or even near-perfection. God asks for effort. You don’t have to reach the finish line to become holy. You just have to start running.

Too often, we shy away from life initiatives because we are not confident we can accomplish what we set out to do. Life is not about getting to the top of your personal mountain; it is about having the courage to begin the climb. And after you start the climb, success is defined by taking one step after the other. They may be small steps and to the outside world it may not even look like you are moving, but you know you are placing one foot in front of the other, and God knows that you are trying. Even if you don’t reach your intended destination or see the actualization of your intended goal, if you have put in the effort and advanced your cause to the best of your ability, you have been successful.

Kedoshim Tihiyu (be holy) – we must strive to emulate our Creator and think beyond ourselves. We must strive to be a nation governed by morality and self-restraint. We must strive to be individuals who find and infuse holiness into everything we do and every experience we have. We must each find the courage to propel and push ourselves forward and work just a bit harder in order to actualize the great potential we possess within. May we each find the strength to continue the journey, advance the climb, and find the holiness that surely awaits. (From 5779)

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Parsha Perspectives: Always There (Acharei Mos/Yom HaShoah)

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Today, Yom HaShoah is a day in which we remember the 6,000,000 kedoshim; men, women, children who died al kiddush Hashem and whose loss continues to send tremors throughout our holy nation. Truth be told, we must remember the 6,000,000 every day. The Holocaust was a catastrophic event which changed the trajectory of our people. No matter how much we grow, succeed, and flourish, this loss will be felt until Moshiach comes and dries our tears. But mourning is never an ends – it must be used as a means. What do we do with this overwhelming tragedy? How do remember and yet find a way to grow? Amazingly, the answer is in this week’s Parsha.

The Torah describes the service of the Kohen Gadol on Yom Kippur. It was a complicated service with many distinct parts and could only be performed by the Kohen Gadol. One of the spiritual highpoints of this sacred service was the Kohen Gadol’s entry into the Kodesh HaKodashim (Holy of Holies) – only one man on one day of the year was permitted to enter. It was there in the Kodesh HaKodashim that the Kohen Gadol would offer the kitores (incense).

And the Lord said to Moses: Speak to your brother Aaron, that he should not come at all times into the Holy within the dividing curtain, in front of the cover that is upon the ark, so that he should not die, for I appear over the ark cover in a cloud. (Vayikra 16:2)

“Ki b’anan ey’raeh al ha’kappores, for I appear over the ark cover in a cloud.” What is the “cloud” referenced in the verse? It is the smoke created by the kitores (incense). Hashem conveys to Moshe that Aharon may not enter the Kodesh HaKodashim unless he is performing the kitores service. However, the Lubliner Rav, Rav Meir Shapiro (1887-1933) explains this verse in a different light. The cloud represents times of difficulty, despair, and adversity. During these types of trying times, it is normal to despair and give up. There are turbulent chapters of life that are so overwhelming that a person feels they simply cannot move on. At times, the cloud of sadness and difficulty hangs over the kappores, the lid of life. But even in those moments, “ey’raeh, I will appear (be seen),” for I am always with you. We cannot avoid the challenges of life for they are part of the fabric of existence. We cannot run from tragedy of loss, but we can gain strength from the fact that even when the cloud of adversity hangs over us – Hashem is always with us. We are never alone, we are never forsaken, we are never forgotten.

When we look at the strength and success of our nation, less than a century since the Nazis, may their memory be erased, and their evil cohorts tried to systematically annihilate us – it is nothing short of miraculous. Immigrants who came to this country and Israel with nothing and built families, lives, a State, businesses, Yeshivos and schools – how can one explain this strength and resilience? The Lubliner Rav whispers to us, “my dear children, the answer you seek is in one word, ey’raeh, I will be seen.” There were times when we thought God had forsaken us, there are times when we may have felt alone and abandoned. But we were wrong. You were always there. You are always here. This is the lesson for our people.

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Parsha Perspectives: Start Dreaming (Vayelech)

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If there is one prayer that resonates in the heart of every Jew it is Kol Nidrei. The very tune is haunting yet enchanting, saddening yet uplifting. Yet, when one looks at the words – they seem to be anything but inspirational. Kol Nidrei is a form of Hataras Nedorim, revocation of vows. We begin the holiest day of the year by releasing ourselves from the vows of the past and proactively annulling the vows of the future. On a legal level this is very important as violating one’s vow is considered a severe transgression. We do whatever we can to repent and absolve ourselves of sin as we enter this sacred day. And still, we find ourselves confounded by a basic question: of all the beautiful prayers we have in our liturgy, why begin the holiest day of the year with revocation of vows? There are many prayers with moving words, prayers that capture the true essence of Yom Kippur; prayers that speak to the theme of purity and repentance. Wouldn’t it be more appropriate to use some of these prayers as the liturgical introduction to this holy day? Why do we begin with Kol Nidrei? What is the message?

Perhaps, to answer this question we must strive to understand the purpose and power of a neder (vow). The paradigmatic neder is the Nazirite vow. A person takes a vow to abstain from wine and cutting his hair. The Nazir is forgoing certain physical pleasures and choosing to place less emphasis on his “self.” Why would a person do such a thing? The Rabbis explain – because deep down he knows he can be something more, deep down he knows he possesses greatness within but needs the proper framework to extract it. He needs to shift the focus from pleasure seeking to purpose seeking. Sometimes in life we need a push; we need some level of tension to actualize our potential. This is the neder – the binding promise which creates the framework to allow the individual to access his internal reservoir of potential.

To take this one step further, perhaps, the neder can be viewed as a personal aspiration or dream. I know where I am now, and I know where I need to be; the neder is the vehicle to help me bridge the gap. The neder creates a legal reality in which I must actively work to actualize my dream/aspiration. But there is a danger in dreaming – many dreams fail to materialize, many dreams come crashing down, many dreams end in disappointment. When one experiences too many failed dreams, one loses his resolve and courage to dream any more. It is too hard to leave oneself open to hurt and feelings of failure; better to live without dreams than to dream and fail.

This coming Wednesday night when we enter the hallowed sanctity of Yom Kippur, we reflect on last year and realize that many of the things we wanted to do, we didn’t. Many of the dreams we had remain unrealized or worse, ended in failure. And so, the first thing we do on this sacred day is revocation of vows, Hataras Nedorim – we let go of our failed dreams. We let go of the unrealized dreams of last year. We let go because we will not allow ourselves to be burdened by the yolk of failed dreams. Carrying around these failures can be stifling. We let go in order to dream anew.

This is our mandate over Yom Kippur – dream a new dream! Ask yourself, who do I want to be? What do I want my life to look like? What do I need to accomplish? We unburden ourselves in order to fill our hearts and souls with new, magnificent and holy dreams for the coming year. There is no better, more appropriate way to start this special day than with the recitation of Kol Nidrei. (From 5774)

I hope and pray that we will each find the courage to dream a new dream. Let us hope that God sees the beauty in our dreams and gives us the strength to make them come true.

G’mar Chasima Tova and Good Shabbos

 

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Parsha Perspectives: One Step at a Time (Nitazvim)

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“For this commandment which I command you this day, is not concealed from you, it is not far away. It is not in heaven, that you should say, ‘Who will go up to heaven for us and fetch it for us, to tell it to us, so that we can fulfill it?’ Nor is it beyond the sea, that you should say, ’Who will cross to the other side of the sea for us and fetch it for us, to tell it to us, so that we can fulfill it?’ Rather, this thing is very close to you; it is in your mouth and in your heart, so that you can fulfill it.” (Devorim 30:11-14)

Which “commandment” was Moshe Rabbeinu referring to? Many of the commentaries explain that Moshe was not referring to one specific mitzvah, rather to the Torah in its entirety. Moshe was telling the people, although there are many mitzvos and expectations, do not get overwhelmed. There are many obligations and responsibilities, but you will succeed. Others explain that the mitzvah (commandment) refers to the mitzvah of Teshuva (repentance and return). Although we may stray far from God, the ability and opportunity to return and rekindle the relationship is always available to us.

Whatever the precise definition may be, the message is the same. Creating personal holiness, cultivating a spiritual identity, cementing a passionate relationship with God may seem difficult, all our spiritual aspirations are within reach.

Rebbe Nachman of Breslov advances an alternate insight.  Moshe says to the Jewish people:

Lo Ba’Shamayim Hi, (It is not in the heavens) God does not ask you to live in the heavens. God does not expect us to achieve angelic perfection, He does not ask us to stop being human and live in the celestial sphere. He doesn’t even demand of us to be wholly righteous.

What does God ask of us?

 Ki Karov Eylecha HaDavar, (This thing is very close to you) Just reach a bit beyond yourself. Hashem wants us to grow. It doesn’t have to be in a dramatic or heroic growth, just be a little more, just become a bit holier each and every day. When Yaakov fled from home to escape the wrath of Esav, he received a magnificent vision. He saw a ladder with its base on the earth, yet its top extended into the heavens. What was the meaning of this vision?  Yaakov was to be the father of the 12 tribes, the father of Bnai Yisroel, and God was communicating to him the Divine expectations of Yaakov’s offspring. God says to us: Life is a ladder – all I ask is that you try to advance up the rungs. You need not climb two at a time, you need not ascend at a quick pace, just climb. Just take the opportunities that are within reach (karov, close) and find a way to move yourself and your life forward.

This was one of the last messages Moshe gave to our ancestors. Moshe, who taught us so much, provided us with the Divine framework for successful living and concluded his tenure of leadership with a simple message. God doesn’t expect perfection, God doesn’t need us to be angels, He just wants us to grow. All Hashem desires is for us to climb the ladder of personal development and self-actualization.

As we enter the Yomim Noraim, we must feel confident and excited for the year ahead. There is much we must accomplish and much we must rectify. There are things which work well, things which need repair, and things which must be fundamentally changed. But we must remember Rome wasn’t built in a day. People aren’t built in a day. To fully actualize our potential takes years and for some an entire lifetime. Yet, all God asks of us is just a little growth every day. All my Father desires is for me to try to climb up another rung. And if I fall, all He asks is for me to find the courage to once again begin the ascent. Ki Karov Eylecha HaDavar, it is very close to us – happiness, fulfillment, and self-actualization are all closer than we think. All we need to do is reach a bit beyond ourselves.

IJC-Parsha Perspectives-Nitzavim from 5778I want to take this opportunity to wish each of you Kesiva V’Chasima Tova. May each of us, together with our families and our nation, be inscribed for year of life, growth, holiness, health, happiness, and redemption.

(Reprinted from 5778)

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