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Parsha Perspectives: Vayigash-The Daily Fountain of Youth

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The tension was mounting. The brothers couldn’t understand the irrational behavior of this unknown Egyptian viceroy. Binyamin stood accused of theft and faced a lifetime of incarceration and servitude in Egypt. The brothers faced the horrible reality of returning to Yaakov, their father, without his precious, youngest son. Yehuda, acting as the spokesman, approached the Egyptian ruler (Yosef) and said, “For how will I go up to my father if the boy is not with me? Let me not see the misery that will befall my father!” (Genesis 44:34) Rashi explains: “Now if you ask why I (Yehuda) enter the fray more than my other brothers, [I will reply that] they are all [standing] from the outside [without commitment], while I have bound myself with a strong bond to be an outcast in both worlds.” In last week’s Parsha we read that it was Yehuda who guaranteed Binyamin’s safety to his father, Yaakov. And it would be Yehuda who would face the brunt of Yaakov’s heartbreak and wrath in this world and the next, should he return without Binyamin. It was in this moment that Yehuda demonstrated a core principle of leadership – responsibility. The rabbis explain that it was in this very moment that Yehuda earned the future mantle of Jewish monarchy. A leader must possess many important traits and characteristics but to be a truly effective leader one must be willing to take full responsibility for the process and outcome of events. One must be willing to wave the flag of victory and shoulder the burden of defeat.  

But there is something else. Embedded in these simple words, “For how will I go up to my father if the boy is not with me?” is another profound and meaningful message. Rav Yaakov Yosef of Polnoye (1710-1784, Toldos Yaakov Yosef) explains: “Koh tzarich kol yehudi l’daber el libo, ‘eych e’eleh achar kach el avi she’bashamayim, vi’yimey ha’neurim eynam iti, kalu b’hevel v’rik, (so shall every Jew say in his heart, ‘how can I ascend (after death) to my Father in Heaven, and the days of youth are not with me for I have squandered them in emptiness and frivolity’).”  

Powerful words from a great Chassidic master. After 120 God will ask us how we used our youth. How did we use those years which were filled with promise and potential? How did we use those years of strength and vigor?  Let’s be honest – it’s easy to be pious when we’re old, tired and no longer have the desire or stamina to sin. How we used our youth – that will be the question God will ask us. The Rebbe explains that in this very moment Yehuda was lamenting all the lost years. Years that were spent covering for a crime against his own flesh and blood.  Years which were taken from Yaakov and could never be returned. He lamented the youthful innocence stolen from Yosef that could never be recovered. Yehuda broke down in front of his brothers and in front of Egypt, how will I face my father in Canaan and how will I face my father in Heaven when I know I have not maximized my youth and I have taken the youthful years of others.

The Rebbe’s words cut right to our soul. How have we used our youth? Have we actualized our unique potentials?  Have we utilized our strengths and abilities? Have we maximized our youth? These are scary questions because if it turns out that we did not maximize our youth, what can we do about it now?   Rabbi Yehuda Aryeh Leib Alter (1847-1905), known as the Sefas Emes (Pirkei Avos 4:20) explains. “Who is a child?  One who has a tomorrow.” The holy Gerrer Rebbe goes on to explain that each day is its own self-contained unit of life. We often look at a day as an incremental unit in the measurement of weeks, months and years. But in truth every day is its own cycle of life. Throughout the day we age and mature. In the morning when we wake up we are like newborn infants, by noon in our early adult years, by late afternoon we reach our mature adult and twilight years, and by nightfall we return our soul to our Maker and the unit of life has come to an end. In other words, youth is a constantly recurring state of being which begins at the start of each day. How we each decide to use our youth of any one day will determine the trajectory of that one unit of life, that one day. And even if for some reason we didn’t maximize the youth of yesterday we can still do so tomorrow. We are given the great gift of youth every morning upon awakening. Our mandate is to make the most of it.

The question of “how have I used my youth?” need not be anxiety provoking; it just needs to be reframed. “How have I used my youth?” is not nearly as important as “how am I going to use my youth in the days, weeks, months and years ahead?”

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Parsha Perspectives: Chanukah-Discovering the Oil

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What is Chanukah? The Sages taught: On the twenty-fifth of Kislev, the days of Hanukkah are eight. One may not eulogize on them and one may not fast on them. What is the reason? When the Greeks entered the Sanctuary, they defiled all the oils that were in the Sanctuary. And when the Hasmonean monarchy overcame them and emerged victorious over them, they searched and found only one cruse of oil that was placed with the seal of the High Priest, undisturbed by the Greeks. And there was sufficient oil there to light the Menorah candelabrum for only one day. A miracle occurred, and they lit the Menorah from it eight days (Tractate Shabbos 21b).

We have heard this story since our youth. The one cruse of oil which miraculously remained lit for eight days. This little miracle gave us the Yom Tov of Chanukah. Yet we know this was not the only miracle. There was a stunning military upset. The small band of soldiers from the Hasmonean family led a revolt against the formidable Syrian-Greek army. They were outnumbered and at a clear disadvantage in every way. Yet, they fought and won. Interestingly this miracle goes relatively unnoticed. It is true, we refer to it in the supplemental paragraph in the Amidah (Al HaNissim, Bimey Matisyahu), but the clear focus of Chanukah is the miracle of the oil. If we put these two miracles, the miracle of the oil and the miracle of the military victory side by side – which one is greater? I think we would all agree that the military victory is overwhelmingly more significant. The miracle of the oil is incredible, but a rag-tag Jewish army defeating the strong and well-trained regional army is truly miraculous. Why the all the emphasis on the oil miracle?  

Rav Avraham Yitzchak HaKohen Kook (1865-1935) provides a beautiful explanation. The miracle of the pach shemen, the cruse of oil contains a much deeper message. The Greeks defiled the Temple. They took that which was holy and made it impure. They took our sacred space and profaned it. Each of us is a personal Beis Hamikdash, a Temple. Just as the Temple was a physical structure which housed the presence of God, we have a physical body which houses the presence of God in the form of our soul. Just as our national Beis Hamikdash was desecrated and defiled, sometimes because of the bad decisions we make, negative behaviors in which we engage, we defile our personal Temple. There are times in life when we look in the mirror and can barely see the spark of God inside of us. We see the physical shell, but can’t see the light which was once there. We see the structure, but we can’t see the holiness. When the Maccabim came into the Temple and saw the physical and spiritual debris, they thought all was lost. But then they found the little jug of unsullied oil, the little jug of intact holiness and with it they rekindled the light of the Temple; they reignited the spark of national holiness. On the Yom Tov of Chanukah, we look within ourselves. As we begin to survey our lives, we may find layers of debris. The fallout of poor decisions and lost opportunities. It may look like everything is lost. We are condemned to the darkness. But then something amazing happens.  We find the jug of oil. Inside each of us is a little, pure cruse of untainted, unspoiled spiritual holiness. No matter how badly we mess up in life – there is still beautiful holiness inside of each of us. We must have the courage to look for it and once we find it, the strength to ignite it.

This is the deeper message of the oil miracle and the reason it is the centerpiece of the Chanukah experience. Each of us is a Temple in a state of disrepair (the extent of disrepair differs from person to person) and it is on this Yom Tov that we follow in the footsteps of our ancestors. We sift through the life debris and find our jug of pure, holy and luminescent spiritual potential. We bask in the light of our ancestors and may future generations bask in ours.  

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Parsha Perspectives: Vayeshev-Filling the Empty Pit

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“Now it came to pass when Joseph came to his brothers, that they stripped Joseph of his shirt, of the fine woolen coat which was upon him. And they took him and cast him into the pit; now the pit was empty there was no water in it.” (Genesis 27:23-24)

From the opening verses in this week’s Parsha we see the animosity between Yosef and his brothers. The brothers feel that Yosef is arrogant and trying to lord over them. Yosef, seemingly oblivious to the impact of his dreams on his brothers, continues to share them.  Tensions reach a boiling point and when the brothers have Yosef alone they decide it is time to eliminate him. The first thought was to kill him, but Reuven intervened and convinced the brothers to instead throw Yosef into a pit. The Torah tells that the pit was empty, there was no water. Rashi explains:

Since it says: “now the pit was empty,” do I not know that there was no water in it? For what purpose did the Torah write, “there was no water in it”? [To inform us that] there was no water in it, but there were snakes and scorpions in it.”

The Lubavitcher Rebbe (Rabbi Menachem Mendel Schneerson, 1902-1994) extracts an incredible lesson from these words of Rashi. The pit represents man. We each have an emptiness within ourselves. God created us this way. He fashioned us but left an empty space for us to fill so we can partner with Him in the creation of our selves. The pit represents the unfinished part of my self. Mayim, water represents Torah. Just as water quenches, refreshes and creates growth, Torah quenches the thirsty soul, girds us with strength and creates the platform and framework for dynamic life growth. When a person is “without water,” without Torah or spirituality in his or her life, then there are “snakes and scorpions inside.” The pit or incomplete part of man must always be filling with something, it is never remains empty. If we fill it with the holy, beautiful and rejuvenating waters of Torah then we partner with God in completing our personal creation. If we fail to fill the pit with something meaningful then destructive forces, snakes and scorpions, will fill the void.  

The words of the Rebbe give us much to ponder. In life we are either constructing or deconstructing, there is no status quo or holding pattern. We each have a void, an incomplete part of our self, a pit, and we must decide what to fill it with. To do nothing, to fail to grow and progress allows the emptiness within to be filled with impurity and harmful influences. Let us find the strength to partner with God and finish the process of creation He began. God left us the empty pit and asks us to finish this last small piece of our self-creation. May we fill ourselves and our pits with the beautiful refreshing and life-sustaining waters of Torah and spiritual growth.

 

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Parsha Perspectives: Vayishlach-The Space Between the Herds

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So, he lodged there on that night, and he took from what came into his hand a gift for his brother Esau: Two hundred she goats and twenty he goats, two hundred ewes and twenty rams, thirty nursing camels with their young, forty cows and ten bulls, twenty she donkeys and ten he donkeys. And he gave into the hands of his servants each herd individually, and he said to his servants, “Pass on ahead of me and make a space between one herd and another herd.” (Bereishis 32:14-17)

Yaakov was preparing for the anticipated encounter with his estranged brother. He prayed to God for Divine assistance and protection, split the camps in preparation for war, and sent generous gifts to Esav. The gifts were meant to appease and assuage the anger and animosity of Esav. The Torah tells us the enormous number of animals gifted by Yaakov and in doing so records an interesting detail. Yaakov says to his servants, “V’revach tasimu beyn eder l’eder, make space between one herd and the next.” On a simple level, Yaakov was trying to make the gift look as grand and generous as possible. By spacing the herd, a long line of animals would make its way to Esav and hopefully find favor in his eyes.  

The great Chassidic master, Rebbe Nachman of Breslov (1772-1810) provides an additional level of insight. The Rebbe explains that life is filled with challenges. There are interpersonal challenges and personal challenges. There are faith challenges and family challenges. There are financial challenges and spiritual challenges. We each encounter our daily struggles. Some we can navigate and overcome and some are ongoing and lack a foreseeable resolution. The only constant in the human condition is struggle. The difficulty is that with prolonged struggle a person loses sight of his or her berachos. The struggles of life can be so overwhelming that all we see are the difficulties and hurdles and we forget about the things which are good and beautiful. We lose sight of our blessings and the beauty of our existence. The “herds” represent the challenges of life. Often it feels like the challenges and struggles do not come one at a time but are heaped upon us. The herd of chdifficulties bust down the door of our otherwise tranquil lives and trod upon anything and everything. One herd after another, the challenges keep pouring in and we feel as if we are falling into the abyss of despair and hopelessness. It is in this moment we hear the advice of Yaakov, “V’revach tasimu beyn eder l’eder, make space between one herd and the next,” take a moment, step back from the current circumstances and look at the beautiful blessings you have been granted. Take a moment to recalibrate your life perspective. The sky isn’t falling, the world isn’t coming to an end. Things are difficult in the current moment but there is so much good in life. We have so many berachos, so many gifts and so many wonderful opportunities. Create a space in between the herds of challenge and adversity in which to reflect on the good in your life.

We must maintain a proper positive perspective even when the herds of struggle are stampeding. We cannot lose sight of the things in life which are beautiful and going well. Let us learn to create the space of positive introspection and reflection in between the herds of adversity.

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Parsha Perspectives: Vayetzei-Determining the Destination

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 And Jacob left Be’er Sheva and he went to Haran (Bereishis 28:10)

The dramatic journey had begun. Yaakov fled the familial home to escape the wrath of his older brother, Esav under the cover of going to find a wife from amongst his mother’s family. The journey was filled with twists and turns, ups and downs, yet Yaakov heroically clung to God and the ideals of his parents. Amid all the drama, the commentaries ask a simple question: why must the Torah state that “Yaakov left Be’er Sheva (Va’Yetzei Yaakov M’Be’er Sheva)” and that “he went to Haran (Va’Yelech Charana).”? Once you state the second part of the verse (that he went to Charan), it is obvious that he left Be’er Sheva. Why include a seemingly redundant phrase?

The Beis HaLevi (Rav Yosef Dov HaLevi Soloveitchik, 1820-1892) explains that people make life changes for different reasons. There are times in life when one’s objective is to get away from his current circumstances. We don’t have a specific destination; we just know that we don’t want to be “here.” Our circumstances are so compromised that we must get away, take flight, and leave. The destination is unimportant, we just need to leave. And there are times when one is not looking to escape from his current circumstances. His current circumstances are fine, but he is not looking to live a “fine” life, he is searching for greatness and holiness. We can live out our lives in our current situations, but we choose to journey to something better. We need to journey to reach an important destination; there is somewhere else we need to be. Yaakov’s journey had both elements.  He left home at the behest of his parents. His mother commanded him to leave the familial home to save his life. The destination was unimportant; Yaakov couldn’t be in Be’er Sheva. On the other hand, Yitzchak tells his son to specifically travel to the home of Lavan to find a wife. Yaakov tried to accommodate the wishes of both parents.  “And Yaakov left Be’er Sheva,” he was running from danger thereby accommodating the wishes of his mother.  “And he went to Haran,” he was journeying specifically to find a wife, in accordance with the desires of his father.

The Beis HaLevi not only provides us with an important textual insight but provides us with an important life lesson as well. There are two types of journeys we take throughout life. The journey “from” and the journey “to.” There are times in life when our circumstances are unhealthy and difficult, and we must extricate ourselves from them to each become a whole person. We take flight from our current reality to escape negative circumstances. But there is a danger when you are only running from something. You can end up without direction. On the other hand, there are times in life when we realize that life can and should be more. And we decide to grow and improve. We leave our current situations to expand our hearts and souls, but if we don’t know where we are going, if there is no life itinerary, we can end up spinning our wheels and experience mounting life frustration. It is not just enough to journey “from,” we must also journey “to.” We must create a plan that includes our intended destination. Where do I want to go? Who do I want to be?  And then we can each answer the question, how can I get there?

Sometimes we must leave our Be’er Sheva, our current circumstances. We must resist the temptation to only “journey from” and find the courage to “journey to.” If we want the journey to be successful we must identify our destination and chart our course. May we be privileged to find the strength to embark on the journey and may God grant us the wisdom to reach our destination.

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Parsha Perspectives: Toldos-Digging the Wells

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“And Isaac loved Esav because [his] game was in his mouth, but Rebecca loved Jacob (Bereishis 25:28).”

Families are complex and the families of our Matriarchs and Patriarchs were no exception.  Children don’t always follow in the footsteps of their parents and often make different choices and cultivate a distinct life path.  With all of this, the job of a parent is to love and appreciate their child for who the child is and not for whom the parents want them to be.  And so, the Torah tells us that Yitzchak loved Esav. But why? What was “loveable” about Esav? We must assume that Yitzchak and Rivka each loved both of their children, yet, each had a unique relationship with a particular child.  Rivka’s connection with Yaakov is understandable. Yaakov was holy and genuine, he was the clear heir to the Abrahamitic legacy. He was a source of wonderful and ongoing nachas.  But what was the nature of the connection between Yitzchak and Esav?  It would appear they were worlds apart, yet, Yitzchak has this incredible love for his first-born son.  What does this mean? What is the message?

Of all our Patriarchs we know the least about Yitzchak.  While we are told of the Akeyda (binding of Yitzchak) and Yitzchak’s willingness to offer himself upon the altar of God, this event is really looked at through the lens of Avraham’s selfless dedication to God.  What do we know about Yitzchak? He dug wells.

And Isaac went away from there, and he encamped in the valley of Gerar and dwelt there. And Isaac again dug the wells of water which they had dug in the days of his father, Abraham, and the Philistines had stopped them up after Abraham’s death; and he gave them names like the names that his father had given them. And Isaac’s servants dug in the valley, and they found there a well of living waters. And the shepherds of Gerar quarreled with Isaac’s shepherds, saying, “The water is ours”; so he named the well Esek, because they had contended with him. And they dug another well, and they quarreled about it also; so he named it Sitnah. And he moved away from there, and he dug another well, and they did not quarrel over it; so he named it Rehoboth, and he said, “For now the Lord has made room for us, and we will be fruitful in the land (Genesis 26:17-22).”

Why does the Torah need to focus on Yitzchak’s well-digging activities?  The Lubavitcher Rebbe provides an incredible insight. To benefit from the beautiful and sustaining, subterranean waters you must be willing to dig.  You must take out your shovel, bend your back and take away shovelful of dirt after shovelful of dirt until you find the refreshing, translucent waters.  This is a metaphor for the self. We each possess the beautiful wellspring of holiness and spiritual beauty. However, often this holiness is obscured by layers of “dirt.”   There is dirt from the bad decisions we make, there is dirt from negative life-experiences, there is the dirt of failure and set-backs. All this dirt sits on top of my well and covers my inner waters.  We must find the courage to dig, to haul away the earth though changing and adjusting certain behaviors and habits. This was the great strength of Isaac, he was the well-digger. He was the one who was able to dig through the layers of dirt and find the beautiful waters of holiness in himself and in others.  When the world looked at Esav they saw one thing – dirt. Yitzchak saw the dirt which covered his son, but he also saw the beautiful waters of holiness which were surging beneath the layer upon layer of thick dirt. He loved his son, because he was able to see the waters and not just the dirt.

We must become well-diggers and utilize this skill in all our life-relationships.  We need to love our children for who they are and not for who we want them to be. Even if our children get covered in dirt, we must appreciate that the waters still run deep and are ever-present.  We must strive to see the good in others and recognize that even when people hurt us, there is still good within that individual. We must try to focus on the water and not the dirt. We must look for the water within ourselves.  We cannot define ourselves by the dirt of our indiscretions or misdeeds. We must remember that no matter how much dirt we have piled on ourselves, the inner waters never dry up, they are always present, waiting to be discovered.

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Parsha Perspectives: Chayei Sarah-Aging with Attitude

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Dedicated in memory of our brothers and sisters murdered in Pittsburgh

“And Avraham was old, he came with his days and God had blessed Avraham with everything.” (Genesis 24:1)

We have seen Avraham develop from a young man in Aram to a leader of humanity in Canaan. We have felt the pride of his accomplishments and the sadness of his tragedies. It is now that the Torah sets the stage for the next chapter of our national evolution, the passing of Avraham and emergence of Yitzchak as the next Av, (patriarch). And so the Torah tells us that Avraham was old as a way of foreshadowing what will soon occur. But what is the meaning of the phrase ba ba’yomim, (coming with his days)?  What does this add that was not already conveyed through the word zakeyn, (old)?

Getting older is a blessing but it can also be filled with challenges and difficulties. Aside from the physical and sometimes cognitive limitations, there is a reality that one can’t do what he once did. Thus, there are some who spend their older years pining and yearning for the vitality and vigor of their youth. They yearn for the days gone by and for the years that have passed. Unfortunately, the yearning and pining often yield sadness, depression and hopelessness. But there are others who, accepting the limitations of their present, do everything in their power to maximize and find meaning in their current circumstances. They realize that every stage of life has its own unique opportunities. Just because the present is not like the past doesn’t mean that it can’t be beautiful, meaningful and holy. This was the greatness of Avraham Avinu; he was able to maximize every stage of life. Rabbi Nachman of Breslov explains that Avraham was able to access the Tov HaGanuz, (the unique hidden good) in each and every day. He realized that the purpose of today is different than the purpose of yesterday and what one can achieve at 100 is different than what one could and needed to achieve at 20. This is the meaning of the phrase, ba ba’yomim (he came with his days), he maximized each day in its own unique way reflecting the stage of life which he was in.

Amazingly, Sarah Imeynu, Avraham’s life partner found her unique way to maximize each stage of life.  The Torah states:

“And the life of Sarah was one hundred years and twenty years and seven years; [these were] the years of the life of Sarah.” (Genesis 23:1)

Rashi points out that the last phrase in the above-mentioned verse seems to be extraneous. Why must the Torah conclude by saying, “these were the years of the life of Sarah” after the verse just told us Sarah’s lifespan? Rashi gives a simple answer, “kulan shavin l’tova, (they [her one hundred years, twenty years and seven years] were equally good).” Sarah’s entire life was infused with meaning, purpose and holiness. Often we “wake up” later in life, realizing that we have limited time on this earth and we must make something of ourselves. Sarah lived her entire life, from childhood to her last breath, with an awareness of the need to infuse meaning in every moment of life.  

The lifetime of a person can be divided into three stages; childhood, youth and adulthood. Rav Yosef Dov HaLevi Soloveitchik zt’l explains that each of these stages has unique characteristics:

“The child is endowed with a capacity of an all-absorbing faith and trustfulness; youth bursts with zealousness, idealism, and optimism; the adult, mellowed with years, has the benefit of accumulated knowledge and dispassionate judgment. Each age is physically and psychologically attuned to particular emphases, but the superior individual can retain and harmonize the positive strengths of all three periods during his entire lifetime.  Sarah was such a person, “the goodness of her life was equally distributed,” kulan shavin l’tova. She was at the same time a child in her total faith, youthful in her exuberant idealism and an adult in the maturity of her judgment.” (The Covenantal Role of Sarah, 88)

This was the greatness of Sarah. She took her life stages with her every step of the journey. She maintained her childlike, simple faith and trust. When Avraham was told, “Lech Lecha, (Go for yourself),” leave everything you know and travel to an unknown, alien land, Sarah went along. Sarah never heard from God, Sarah never received a direct command nor was she given any explicit promises, yet, she believed, she trusted in God and she embarked on the journey. Sarah put her faith in a loving God whom she believed would protect, nurture and guide her every step.

Sarah maintained a constant sense of idealistic optimism. After years of marriage without children, Sarah turned to Avraham and urged him to marry her maidservant, Hagar. The Ramban (16:2) comments, “ki Sarah lo nit’ya’asha me’Avram, v’lo hirchiyka atzma me’etzlo, ki hi ishto v’hu isha, (Sarah did not give up on Avraham, nor did she distance herself from him, for she was his wife and he was her husband).” One might have thought that by giving Hagar as a wife to Avraham, Sarah was withdrawing, giving up, admitting defeat and retreating to the shadows. Instead, she says to her beloved Avraham, “I am right here by your side. Life hasn’t worked out the way I had hoped, but I am not giving up. We will realize our life dream of building a people and a destiny together.”   

Sarah was able to make the difficult decisions that needed to be made. After the birth of Yitzchak, Sarah very quickly understood that to raise a true Abrahamitic heir required an atmosphere of holiness and dedication. Yishmael’s life stood in contradistinction to these values and as such, Sarah felt he had to be sent away. Sarah’s keen judgment, sharpened sense of purpose, profound life experience and acquired wisdom gave her the courage to do what had to be done even though it hurt.  

We often view life as a progression requiring us to grow out of one stage as we progress to another. While this is true in many respects, it would perhaps, be more accurate to view life as a pyramid with each stage building on the one before it. As we get older we must bring the ideals of our past into our present to build our future. No matter how old we get we must learn to find our inner child. Although we have been hurt and wronged by others we must learn to trust. Although at times we may feel let down by God, we must try to cultivate a strong sense of faith. We must remember how to believe like a child, in our God and in ourselves. No matter how many times we fall and fail we must maintain an ever-present sense of optimism that things will come together. We must remain idealistic even when so many around us are not. We must use our heart, mind and life experiences to make wise life decisions. We must allow our inner child, young adult and wise elder to walk hand in hand throughout life.

Our grandparents, Avraham and Sarah continue to teach us an important and profound lesson. We must find the strength and courage to maximize our present and build on each stage of life. Let us hope that their holy examples will be an inspiration for us all.

 

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Parsha Perspectives: Vayera-Don’t Look Back

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Even the pious Avraham Avinu could not sway God to forgive the people of Sodom. They had become so depraved, immoral and unholy that God felt compelled to destroy the cities. But all was not lost. Lot and his family were whisked out of the city by guardian angles and given the opportunity to begin life anew. As they were readying themselves to take leave of Sodom, the angel outlines a simple set of instructions:

And it came to pass, when they took them outside, that he said, “Flee for your life, do not look behind you, and do not stand in the entire plain. Flee to the mountain, lest you perish.” (Bereishis 19:17)

Lot and his daughters complied, but his wife Iris did not.

“And the Lord caused to rain down upon Sodom and Gomorrah brimstone and fire, from the Lord, from heaven. And He turned over these cities and the entire plain, and all the inhabitants of the cities, and the vegetation of the ground. And his wife looked from behind him, and she became a pillar of salt.” (Bereishis 19:24-26)

The commentaries spend much time analyzing why Iris became a pillar of salt. It is clear that she violated the angelic directive but why was this the punishment? Rashi and others understand this punishment to reflect some degree of Divine reciprocity. As the Midrash explains, she refused to give salt (to accompany the bread) to the strangers who visited her home and when punished became a pillar of salt. But I would like to veer in a different direction (within this same story). The Torah is a book of laws. The Torah is not a history or a story book. As such when the Torah shares stories with us it is to teach us moral, ethical and/or legal lessons. What is the lesson from this episode? What are we to learn from Iris, the wife of Lot and what is the contemporary message?

Rav Shmuel Weinberg (1850-1916), the Rebbe of Slonim provides an incredible insight:

“When the angel said to them, ‘Al tabet acharecha, do not look behind you’ this was referring to the failures of the past. The wife of Lot looked back and what occurred? She became a pillar of salt.”

The Rebbe is teaching us an incredible lesson. Embedded in this story is perhaps one of the most important life principals. If you want to build a future, you must let go of the past. If you want to move forward, you must stop looking in the rearview mirror. Memory is a gift, but if used incorrectly can become a handicap. We all fail and in the aftermath of failure we must dust ourselves off, learn the hard lessons and move forward. We cannot live in the past because we cannot change the past. We can’t replay the mistakes and missteps of our past over and over because there is nothing more we can do to correct them. The only way to build a new future is to stop looking back and start moving forward.  

God was giving Lot and his family the opportunity to start again and make a new life for themselves. But Iris looked back, she couldn’t detach from her past, she was tethered to it and therefore couldn’t move on. She turned into a pillar of salt. Why salt? Salt is a preservative, it keeps things in their present state, it prevents change and evolution. Iris couldn’t evolve or change because she was always looking back. Thus, she became stagnant, present-preserving salt.    

There are painful moments in our past. There are failures and mistakes which have changed who we are and the direction of our lives. But each and every day God gives us the gift of a new beginning. We can always start over. Keep your eyes on the magnificent mountains of accomplishment ahead, keep your eyes on the beautiful possibilities that await you. And as you journey forward hear the message of the angel, the message of the Torah ringing in your ears: “don’t look back.”

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Parsha Perspectives: Lech Lecha-The Search for Happiness

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And the Lord said to Abram, “Go forth from your land and from your birthplace and from your father’s house, to the land that I will show you.” (Bereishis 13:1)

Avraham is commanded to leave the life he has known, venture forth into the great unknown and embrace his personal destiny. Upon arriving in the land of Canaan he is faced with the stark reality of regional famine that forces him to relocate (together with his family) to Egypt. It is in Egypt that Avraham faces a society hostile to his spiritual and moral views. Yet, Avraham and Sarah persevere and make their way back to Canaan. It is during this return journey to Canaan that the Torah shares an interesting piece of information.

And he went on his journeys, from the south and until Beth El, until the place where his tent had been previously, between Beth El and between Ai. (Bereishis 13:3)

Rashi comments:

And he went on his journeys: When he returned from Egypt to the land of Canaan, he went and lodged in the inns where he had lodged on his way to Egypt. This teaches you etiquette, that a person should not change his lodgings (Arachin 16b).

What is the deeper message and lesson being conveyed? The Baal Shem Tov explains: “We learn from here the need to be content and find happiness in what you have. When Avraham travelled to Egypt during the famine, he was poor and stayed at very modest accommodations. Upon his return from Egypt he was laden with gold and silver and yet, still went back to the same inns.”  

The Baal Shem Tov refers to the attribute of histapkus, the ability to find happiness and contentment in what you have and not link your happiness to what you hope one day to possess. Avraham could have stayed at a 5-star resort on his way back to Canaan but chose not to. Avraham didn’t need the extra material comfort to feel happy, content or important. Avraham’s life-happiness stemmed from a deep sense of meaning and destiny.  

There is an emptiness and longing within each of us. God created us that way. We are each an unfinished work in progress, requiring further refinement. God gives us a soul and a body. He provides us with strength and weaknesses, abilities and desires. It is our job to take the shell that is our body and fill it with holiness, accomplishments, spirituality, dreams and aspirations. But it is easy to fall into the trap of materialism. At times we try to fill the void with purchases and luxuries thinking that they will provide happiness and fulfillment, but they don’t. Often, we assume the problem is that we don’t have enough. “If only I had more, I would be happy.” To be clear, God encourages us to enjoy the material world. You can have the beautiful home, nice car and fine clothing if you realize these things will never make you happy. They can provide comfort and enjoyment but not happiness and contentment. Herein lies the greatness of Avraham Avinu. He was given the gift of destiny. He knew he was on a mission from God and that every step he took was meaningful. He didn’t need the luxurious accommodations to make him happy, content and feel important. For Avraham was already experiencing all these feelings from within.

May God bless each of us with material success and comfort and may we find true life meaning, contentment and happiness in the people we become, the holiness we acquire, and the accomplishments we accrue.

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Parsha Perspectives: Noach-Build It and They Will Come

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It must have been a startling conversation. God tells Noach the world must be destroyed. The evil of man had become so unbearable and dramatic action was necessary. Noach was tasked by God to build the ark and rebuild humanity in the aftermath of the flood. Noach was to become the new father of mankind, a second Adam. But Noach’s responsibility was not only for mankind; he was to serve as the caretaker of the animal kingdom as well.

“And the Lord said to Noah, “Come into the ark, you and all your household, for it is you that I have seen as a righteous man before Me in this generation. Of all the clean animals you shall take for yourself seven pairs, a male and its mate, and of the animals that are not clean, two, a male and its mate.  Also, of the fowl of the heavens, seven pairs, male and female, to keep seed alive on the face of the earth (Bereishis 7:1-3).”

God commands Noach to gather up the animals and prepare the ark with all the necessary provisions to sustain them for the duration of the flood.  Yet, something very interesting occurs:

“And Noah went in and his sons and his wife and his sons’ wives with him into the ark because of the flood waters.  Of the clean beasts and of the beasts that are not clean, and of the fowl, and all that creeps upon the earth. Two by two they came to Noah to the ark, male and female, as God had commanded Noahc(Bereishis 7:7-9).”

It appears that the animals came to Noach; he didn’t have to collect them after all. God told Noach to “take for yourself” and then “two by two they came to Noah to the ark ….” What changed? Why did the animals suddenly come to Noach?

The Lubavitcher Rebbe (Rabbi Menachem Mendel Schneerson, 1902-1994) explains, “A Jew is tasked with fulfilling his mission (shlichus) and should not worry regarding other details. For once he undertakes to fulfill his mission, the other pieces will fall into place.”

Can you imagine what Noach thought when God told him to collect of the animals for the ark? Really?!  How am I supposed to track down every different type of species and get them onto this boat? How can God possibly task me with this impossible endeavor? Yet, Noach begins the task by building the ark and amazingly enough, when it is complete the animals come to him. When you have a mission and a destiny, sometimes you just have to start down the road of accomplishment and actualization and believe that God will help you cross the finish line. God never really intended for Noach to run after all the animals. He wanted to see Noach’s reaction to the Divine task. There are times when we are asked to do something beyond our present reach and ability. We say to ourselves, “Why even bother?  There is no way I can be successful. What is point of trying if there is no probability of success?”  But we must learn to think differently. We must say to ourselves, “It would appear that the shlichus, the mission is way too difficult; let me start, I will do what I can, and I believe that God will pick up the slack.  I believe that if God wants this to happen He will extend His hand to me to help me reach my intended destination.”    

This was message that God conveyed to Noach and a message which Noach clearly understood. When your mission in life looks impossible – just get started, just take a step and believe that God will help.  You may have no idea how to possibly gather all the animals, you may be overwhelmed at the prospect of gathering the various pieces which ensure life success; just begin to build your ark, just begin to build and the results will ultimately materialize.

 

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