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Nitzavim-Vayelech 5777: It’s Closer Than You Think

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For this commandment which I command you this day, is not concealed from you, it is not far away. It is not in heaven, that you should say, “Who will go up to heaven for us and fetch it for us, to tell it to us, so that we can fulfill it?” Nor is it beyond the sea, that you should say, “Who will cross to the other side of the sea for us and fetch it for us, to tell it to us, so that we can fulfill it?” Rather, this thing is very close to you; it is in your mouth and in your heart, so that you can fulfill it (Devorim 30:11-14).

What is this “commandment” to which Moshe refers?  Some of the commentaries explain that this is a reference to the Torah in its entirety.  Moshe is telling the people, “although there are many mitzvos and expectations – do not get overwhelmed.  Yes, you have many obligations and responsibilities, but you will be able to succeed.”  Others, explains that the “mitzvah/commandment” refers to the mitzvah of Teshuva (repentance and return).  Although we may stray far from God, the ability and opportunity to return and rekindle the relationship is always available to us.

Whatever the precise definition may be – the message is the same.  Creating personal holiness, cultivating a spiritual identity, cementing a passionate relationship with God may seem difficult but all of our spiritual aspirations are within reach.

Rebbe Nachman of Breslov advances an alternate insight.  Moshe says to the Jewish people:

Lo Ba’Shamayim Hi, It is not in the heavens – God does not ask you to live in the heavens.  God does not expect us to achieve angelic perfection, He does not ask us to stop being human and live in the celestial sphere.

What does God ask of us?

 Ki Karov Eylecha HaDavar, this thing is very close to you – Just reach a bit beyond yourself.  Hashem just wants us to grow.  It doesn’t have to be in a dramatic fashion, just a little bit each and every day. When Yaakov fled from home to escape the wrath of Esav he was given a magnificent vision.  He saw a ladder with its base on the earth, yet its top extended into the heavens.  What was the meaning of this vision?  Yaakov was to be the father of the 12 tribes, the father of Bnai Yisroel and God was communicating to him the Divine expectations of Yaakov’s offspring.  Life is a ladder – all I ask is that you try to advance up the rungs.  You need not climb two at a time; you need not ascend at a quick pace, just climb.  Just take the opportunities that are within reach (karov, close) and find a way to move yourself and your life forward.

This was one of the last messages Moshe gave to our ancestors.   Moshe who taught us so much, provided us with the Divine framework for successful living, concluded his tenure of leadership with a simple message.  God doesn’t expect perfection, God doesn’t need us to be angels, He just wants us to grow.  All Hashem desires is for us to climb the ladder of personal development and self-actualization.

As we enter into the Yomim Noraim we must feel confident and excited for the year ahead.  There is much we must accomplish and much we must rectify.  There are things which work well, things which need repair and things which must be fundamentally changed.  But we must remember Rome wasn’t built in a day. People aren’t built in a day.  To fully actualize our potential takes years and for some an entire life-time.  Yet, all God asks of us is just a little growth every day.  All our Father desires is for me to try to climb up another rung.  And if I fall, all He asks is for me to find the courage to once again begin the ascent.  Ki Karov Eylecha HaDavar, it is very close to us – happiness, fulfillment and self-actualization are all closer then we think.  All we need to do is reach a bit beyond ourselves.

I want to take this opportunity to wish each of you kesiva v’chasima tova, may each us together with our families and our nation be inscribed for year of growth, holiness, health, happiness and most importantly – redemption.

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Ki Tavo 5777: Blessing at all Times

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In his final days with his beloved nation, Moshe tries to give proper instruction to his beloved people.

“Now if you give ear to the voice of the Lord your God, and keep with care all these orders which I have given you today, then the Lord your God will put you high over all the nations of the earth: And all these blessings will come on you and overtake you, if your ears are open to the voice of the Lord your God. A blessing will be on you in the town, and a blessing in the field. A blessing will be on the fruit of your body, and on the fruit of your land, on the fruit of your cattle, the increase of your herd, and the young of your flock. A blessing will be on your basket and on your bread-basin.
You shall be blessed when you come and blessed when you depart (Devorim 28:2-6).”

What is the meaning of this last phrase, “Baruch ata b’voecha, u’baruch ata b’tzeysech – You shall be blessed when you come and blessed when you depart”? Rashi explains, “Your departure from the world should be like your arrival to the world. The same way that your arrival was without sin (cheyt), so your departure should be without sin (cheyt).”  But how are we to understand this statement? There is no person who is without sin.   Even the most righteous and devout of people possess shortcomings, faults and makes mistakes.

To fully appreciate this statement we need a new definition of the word cheyt. The Maharal (Rabbi Judah Lowe 1526-1609) explains that we often assume the word cheyt means sin, but in fact, it means empty or void. Sin has repercussions. I have done something wrong and now there is a resulting negative impact that manifests itself in punishment. We believe that every action has a reaction. We believe that just as every mitzvah has rewards, every sin has repercussions as well. But we also believe in the mercy and love of God.  We know that Hashem loves us in ways that we cannot comprehend. We know that with sincere teshuva (repentance) we can negate the punishments and negative decrees. As such, the real collateral damage of sin is not punishment – it is distance. You see, every time I sin, I create a distance, a chasm between myself and Hashem. Every time I sin, I push myself away from my Father and find it difficult to connect and feel His presence in my life. This is the tragic reality of our negative reactions – distance from Him who we need most. Sin represents a violation of the sacred trust between me and God. In relationships a breach of trust creates a distance between the parties – this is true with people and it is true with God. This is the sad reality created by sin.  We have the ability to bridge this distance through prayer, chessed (acts of kindness) and teshuva (repentance).

“Your departure from the world should be like your arrival to the world; the same way that your arrival was without cheyt, so your departure should be without cheyt” – perhaps, in this context cheyt doesn’t mean sin – it means emptiness or a void. Moshe was trying to teach the Jewish people a magnificent lesson. When a baby comes into this world, it doesn’t take much to make the infant happy. If the baby has a mother to hold him, a warm blanket and his mother’s milk, he is content. He doesn’t feel like he is deficient or lacking anything. Now it is possible that another baby has a warmer blanket, a fancier bassinet or designer onesies – but our first little baby is completely unaware, he simply basks in the happiness of what he has without feeling deficient because someone else may have more. Moshe Rabbeinu blesses his beloved flock and tells them, “The same way when you entered this world you didn’t feel deficient, you were happy with the blessings you had and content with the life you were given; I give you the beracha that you should leave this world in the same state; feeling content with your blessings and appreciating the beautiful gifts of life.”

As we prepare to enter the sacred days of Rosh Hashanah, we begin to think about all of the things we need.  We will ask God for health, livelihood, success and happiness. We will pray for the safety and success of our children and our people. But it is equally important to stop and appreciate all we have been given. Too often we feel a void because we don’t have as much as the other. Too often we measure our blessings against the blessings of our neighbor. We must learn to find happiness in what we have, and we must learn to express gratitude for what we have been given. May we be privileged to feel the contentment of our youth throughout our entire life.

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Ki Teitzei 5777: Waging the War

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כִּֽי־תֵצֵ֥א לַמִּלְחָמָ֖ה עַל־אֹיְבֶ֑יךָ וּנְתָנ֞וֹ יְקֹוָ֧ק אֱלֹהֶ֛יךָ בְּיָדֶ֖ךָ וְשָׁבִ֥יתָ שִׁבְיֽוֹ

“If you go out to war against your enemies, and the Lord, your God, will deliver him into your hands, and you take his captives (Devorim 21:10).”

War is an unfortunate reality.  We must fight for our survival, we must fight for our land and we must fight for our ideals and beliefs.  But wars are not always fought with swords and bows.  The seforim explain that this verse alludes to the most acute battle we each must wage.  This is a battle waged internally; a battle we must fight within ourselves.  The battle, to which we refer, is the battle against the yetzer hara (evil inclination), the negative and harmful desires and proclivities we each possess.

Ki Teitzei La’milchama al Oyvecha, when you will go out to war against your enemies, refers not only to the external enemy but to the enemy within as well.  We each have our inner battles to wage.  For some it has been the same battle, trying to overcome the same weaknesses for many years, for others it may be different challenges in different stages of life.  But one thing is clear – we all fight, we all struggle, we all wage the inner battle.

The Eish Kodesh, Rav Kalonymus Kalman Shapira (1889-1943), the rebbe of Piacezna explains this dynamic in a different way.

Ki Teitzei La’milchama – when you will go out to war – life is a battle.  If you want to accomplish things you must go out and engage in the struggle. Your dreams and aspirations will not simply materialize without effort.  If you want something in life you have be willing to fight and fight hard.

Al Oyvecha, against your enemies – you will encounter many “enemies” in the pursuit or your dreams and aspirations.  There are enemies like apathy and complacency.  There may be people who will try to tell you that you “can’t.”  There may be people who are not supportive or kind to you.  There are all kinds of “enemies” which try to prevent us from being successful in our life battles.

If despite the enemies which lurk in all corners, if despite the hurdles, I still choose to continue down the path of person accomplishment and actualization; U’nisano Hashem Elokecha B’Yadecha, God will deliver your enemies in your hands – God will give you the strength to overcome the adversity and accomplish your life objectives.

We must learn to accept the premise that life is not easy.  There is an ongoing war, a battle which unfolds in front of each of us, each and every day.  But if we commit ourselves to the “fight,” if we commit ourselves to engaging in the battle, God promises us that we will succeed.

In this month of Elul we contemplate how we have spent this past year and what we want to accomplish in the year ahead.  Too often we don’t cross the finish lines we had hoped to, simply because we stopped fighting.  The path to my dreams was fraught with challenge and difficulty and so I gave up.  If we have made this mistake in the past, let’s promise ourselves to do things differently these last remaining days and in the year ahead.

May we find the courage to gird ourselves with the necessary strength to wage the battles of life.  May we receive the blessing the providence of God and merit to see the actualization of our dreams.

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Shoftim 5777: Altars and Aspirations

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These were the final conversations. The nation could see and feel the Land of Israel. It was finally within reach. But Moshe had to prepare them. Although he would not accompany them into the land, Moshe’s sacred mission was to prepare them for the challenges they would face. Chief amongst Moshe’s fears was that the people would fall prey to the idolatrous culture prevalent amongst the indigenous nations. Over and over again Moshe warns and exhorts the nation to uproot and destroy every last vestige of Canaanite polytheism.  

Among the multiple prohibitions, Moshe commands: “And you shall not set up for yourself a monument (matzeyva), which the Lord your God despises (Devorim 16:22).” What is this matzeyva monument? Rashi explains that it was an altar made from one stone as opposed to the mizbeyach altar, which was made of multiple, individual stones. But why would God “despise” it? Throughout the book of Genesis (Bereishis) we find many examples of great, righteous people building matzeyvos to serve God. What changed to make the matzeyva so terribly distasteful in the eyes of God that the Torah must warn us so strongly against its use? Rashi explains that the matzeyva had become central to Canaanite idolatrous practice. Thus, although it was “beloved” by God when the Patriarchs used it, it was now abhorrent in the eyes of the Creator. Still, the Torah could have simply stated “don’t build a matzeyva” (much in the same way it says, “Don’t plant an asheyra tree” – a type of tree used for idolatrous worship). But to say that God despises something which was a staple in the religious service of the forefathers seems extreme. At the base of Mount Sinai, the very spot of incredible Divine revelation, the Torah tells us that Moshe built twelve matzeyva altars for the twelve tribes of Israel. On the future site of the Beis HaMikdash our forefather Yaakov built a matzeyva altar from the stone he had placed beneath his head. Avraham and Yitzchak built matzeyva altars wherever they travelled.  How could it be that the very thing that was beloved and accepted by God in previous generations had suddenly become despised?

Rav Avraham Yitzchak HaKohen Kook zt’l, in his work titled Midbar Shur, explains that each of the Patriarchs represented and embodied a particular character trait (middah). Avraham represented chessed (kindness), Yitzchak embodied gevura (strength), and Yaakov stood for emes (truth). Each Patriarch used his middah in the service of God.  If you were to approach Avraham and ask him for advice on how to create a meaningful relationship with God, he would instruct you to do good for others and you will merit this desired closeness. Chessed is the key for connection. We lose connection with God because we become overly focused on the self.  Think about others; give to others, live for the other and you will find God. Yitzchak would advocate for gevurah – one must display personal strength and commitment to personal growth. One must find the strength to sacrifice for the Almighty. You must build and bolster yourself in order to influence the world around you.  If one cultivates these strengths, then a meaningful and lasting relationship with the Almighty is within reach. Yaakov would advise that the path to God requires unequivocal commitment to emes; truth must serve as man’s compass in finding our Father above. It is easy to lose your way in life you must be firm in your commitment to our values and beliefs.  

Avraham, Yitzchak and Yaakov created these solid pillars of chessed, gevurah, and emes. Their single-stone matzeyvos represented their singular and individualized approach to the service of God.

Moshe declared to the Jewish People that this was no longer an acceptable approach. After forty years of spiritual maturation in the desert, God expected us to spiritually diversify, becoming “proficient” in many areas of life by acquiring different character traits and abilities. One has to strive to become a chessed, gevurah and emes Jew. We have to become people who engage in meaningful prayer and help the poor. We must be people who are focused on growth and personal development and at the same time are attentive to the needs of the other. We must remain true to our values and beliefs while coexisting with others who may live and believe differently. The single-stone matzeyva was acceptable and even desirable for the forefathers but it is off limits to us. From us, God demands a mizbeyach avanim, a multi-stone, multi-faceted altar.

But Moshe does not stop there. Asher sanay – the one thing that God despises more than anything is when we sell ourselves short. The greatest affront to God is when we convince ourselves that we cannot be more. God endowed each of us with such beautiful and awesome abilities and talents – it is our Divine obligation to discover and utilize them. I have no right to tell God that I can only be proficient in one particular area or only accomplish certain things while other achievements are simply beyond my reach.   

The single stone, the single approach matzeyva gives man a license to be “one thing.” Asher sanay – “I hate when you convince yourselves that you can’t be more.” Hashem hates the matzeyva because it has come to represent excellence and commitment in one area, whereas God asks us to be mitzuyanim, to excel in all we do.

Our life mission is to accumulate stones. These stones represent all of the different character traits, middos and abilities we must possess in order to be successful people. We must learn to spiritually diversify and strive for proficiency and piety in all areas of Judaic life. We begin this process one ‘stone’ at a time. I begin by taking inventory of the stones I have already accumulated. Are they polished and properly chiseled? Are they clean and properly cared for? Am I actualizing the strengths I already know I possess? Am I maximizing the potential I know I have? After the inventory I ask myself a simple question – what additional stones do I need? What qualities and traits do I lack and how can I acquire them?  

We have outgrown the matzeyva and we are privileged to be a mizbeyach. May we find the strength to actualize this great gift.

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Re’eh 5777: The Power of the Day

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Re’eh anochi noseyn lifneychem ha’yom beracha u’klalah – Behold, I set before you today a blessing and a curse (Devorim 11:26).

Moshe informed the people of the incredible event that will soon unfold. The entire people will stand by the mountains of Grizim and Eval and affirm their commitment to God and the Torah through the acceptance of a series of blessings and curses. It is this covenantal event that will pave their way for entry into the Land of Israel.

But why did Moshe use the word, ha’yom, today? Moshe could have simply said, “Behold, I set before you a blessing and a curse.” Furthermore, the blessings and curses are not stated in this week’s Parsha. What lesson was Moshe trying to convey with the inclusion of the word ha’yom?

This week, we will celebrate Rosh Chodesh Elul, the arrival of the Hebrew month of Elul; a month designated for introspection, self-evaluation and contemplation. It is during the month of Elul that we begin to prepare ourselves for the upcoming Yimei HaDin (Days of Judgment) of Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur. It is during this month that we are reminded of the promises and commitments we made to ourselves and to God almost a year ago. Some of these promises have been fulfilled and others still remain outstanding. We each have so much to do, so much to accomplish before the year ends. But is there something specific we should work on? What should we focus on during this special month of preparation?

To gain some insight into this question we must look back at last week’s Parsha. In Parshas Eiykev Moshe said,

“And now, O Israel, what does the Lord, your God, demand of you? Only to fear the Lord, your God, to walk in all His ways and to love Him, and to worship the Lord, your God, with all your heart and with all your soul, to keep the commandments of the Lord and His statutes, which I command you this day, for your good (Devorim 10:12-13).”

Essentially, Moshe says to the people – you have the deal of the century! Look at all that God does for you – and all He asks in return is that you love, obey, follow and walk in His ways. Moshe is describing the totality of our spiritual responsibilities and makes it sound like an easy task. The Talmud (Berachos 33b) explains, “V’chi yirah milsa zutrasa hi? In l’gabey Moshe milsa zutrasa hi –  Is reverence of God a small matter? Yes, for Moshe it was a small matter.” How are we to understand this enigmatic statement? It is very nice that for Moshe love, reverence and obedience to God are “small matters” but for us they are not. Furthermore, Moshe is not talking to himself – he is talking to the people, the same people he has led for the last 40 years. Moshe knows and understands our struggles and difficulties; he knows that maintaining a relationship with God is an ongoing challenge for us – so why make it seem so simple, when it’s not?

To appreciate the words of Moshe, we must examine one additional verse. Moshe says to the Jewish people,

“V’atem ha’diveykim ba’Hashem Elokeychem chaim kulchem ha’yom – But you who cleave to the Lord your God are alive, all of you, this day (Devorim 4:4).”

The Chasam Sofer (Rav Moshe Sofer, 1762-1839) comments that at first glance the last word in the verse, ha’yom, today, appears extraneous. Moshe could have conveyed the same message without this word – why was it included?

Rav Sofer explains that we each live with expectations. There are things that God expects of us, there are expectations that others have of us and there are the expectations we have of ourselves. Often, we feel overwhelmed by all the expectations placed on our shoulders. How will I ever become the kind of person whom God and others will be proud of? How do I become the kind of person whom I will be happy to see in the mirror? Will I ever measure up?

To these questions, the Chasam Sofer gives a simple answer – live life one day at a time.

This was the message Moshe was conveying to the children of Israel. V’atem ha’diveykim ba’Hashem Elokeychem – you, the children of Israel, who are attempting to cling to God and live up to the expectations He has of you,how can you accomplish this? – Chaim kulchem – put the entirety of your life force, abilities and talents, ha’yom – into living today.

The way to lead a successful and meaningful life is by maximizing each and every day. Put your entire chaim, your abilities and strengths into maximizing ha’yom.

Now we can understand the enigmatic passage of the Talmud mentioned above. Moshe didn’t wake up one morning and decide that he was going to be the greatest prophet the Jewish people would ever have. He didn’t decide that he was going to be the transmitter of Torah and mouthpiece of God. Moshe lived with a simple directive – maximize the day. And when you maximize your days, they combine to form meaningful weeks, which combine to form holy months, which combine to form fulfilling years.

Moshe was telling his flock, “It is true, God asks a lot from us but He is not looking for long-term guarantees about what we will or won’t do – He is looking for the milsa zutrasa, the small thing, the one day, He is looking for chaim kulchem ha’yom, for each of us to put our energies into maximizing the day.”

And it is this very lesson that Moshe reinforces in the beginning of this week’s Parsha. Re’eh anochi noseyn lifneychem ha’yom – see I have given before you; God has placed before you the blessing of ha’yom, today. You have a choice to make – will it be beracha, blessing or klalah, curse? Will you use your ha’yom, to grow, to help others, to become a better person? Or will you use your day for negative purposes which will produce klalah for yourself and those around you. This is the decision we must make every single day.

This is one of the most important messages for the month of Elul. For many of us there were things we wanted to do and accomplish this past year but didn’t. There were goals and milestones we wanted to reach but for some reason or another we just never managed to make it happen. This is the month to maximize our days. This is the month to remind ourselves that if used correctly one day of life can be restorative, rejuvenating, cathartic and transformative. This is the month in which we prepare to ask God for another year of life and bolster that request by showing that we can make the most of every day. This is the month in which we commit ourselves to maximizing each and every day. By creating beracha from each day we will quickly realize that we have the ability to meet our goals, cross our finish lines and become the kind of people we know we can be.

This is the month in which we instill within ourselves the important message that true life-greatness lies not in how you live your years, but rather, in how you live your days.

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Eikev 5777: Taming the Wild Beast

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“And it will be, because you will heed these ordinances and keep them and perform, that the Lord, your God, will keep for you the covenant and the kindness that He swore to your forefathers.” (Devorim 7:12)

In the opening verse of this week’s Parsha, Moshe creates a simple paradigm – if we live up to the word of God, God will deliver on the promises He made to the Patriarchs. For the fledging Jewish nation more important than the promises of livestock and produce was the promise of protection and victory in the wars against the kingdoms of Canaan. Moshe reminds us that in the same way that God brought Pharaoh to his knees, He can and will do the same with Canaanite kingdoms.

Moshe continues and says, “And the Lord, your God, will drive out those nations from before you, little by little. You will not be able to destroy them quickly, lest the beasts of the field outnumber you (7:22).” The battle for Canaan will not be quick. Not because our enemies are too fierce. But rather, out of concern that if we conquer more land than we can settle, wild animals will overrun these conquered areas and pose a threat to the nearby inhabitants. What a strange statement? Moshe has just told the people that there is going to be Divine protection and intervention and yet, now we are worried about the beasts of the field? The same God who can bend and manipulate the laws of nature can certainly keep the animals at bay. The same God who will instill fear into the hearts of the Canaanite soldiers could also instill fear within the animals causing them to retreat from before the Jewish people. How are we to understand this statement from Moshe?

The Modgitzer Rebbe (Rav Shaul Yedidyah Elazar of Modgitz) provides an amazing insight. When forced to fight man must draw on his animalistic instincts. When forced to kill, man gives up (loses) some part of his humanity.  Life often calls for such drastic measures. Wars must be waged for the needs of the nation and for the actualization of Jewish destiny. The solider must kill; the soldier must be prepared to take the life of another if this is what the mission calls for. However, there is a reality that must be acknowledged. There is collateral damage on a personal level. After fighting a war, after taking a life – the soldier is no longer the same. Once those feelings and instincts that allowed one to kill have been unleashed it is not easy to simply bottle them up. This, explains the Rebbe, is the meaning of the pasuk. Why not just go to war with all of the Canaanite nations at once? Why will God drive them out ‘little by little’? To which God answers, “Pen Tirbeh Alecha Chayas HaSadeh – Lest the beasts of the field become too much upon you.” The beasts to which the Torah refers are not the animals that inhabit the land of Israel – but rather, the animal that dwells within. God explains, “If I have you engage in constant fighting, constant bloodshed, constant war – the animal within will overwhelm you and can extinguish your humanity. Therefore, I will clear out the nations slowly – you will have to fight – but you will also have time to heal. The mission will be accomplished but at a slower pace to allow for the preservation of the Tzelem Elokim (the Divine Image) within each and every solider.” 

The Rebbe’s insight teaches us a valuable lesson. What we do, determines who we are. The actions we engage in – shape and mold our very character and essence. If we want to become good and holy people we must engage in good and holy behaviors. Yet, at times we engage in certain activities that we know are detrimental (to our body or soul) but we convince ourselves that this action will not color who we are. “Pen Tirbeh Alecha Chayas HaSadeh”, if we act like the animal – the inner animal will dominate and eclipse the beauty and holiness I possess within.

Our actions define us; our actions solidify our identity. Let us find the strength to make the right decisions and choices but when we fall and when we fail, let us find the courage to rein in the beasts of the field and renew ourselves B’tzelem Elokim.

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VaEschanan 5777: True Consolation

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Each and every Shabbos is a special, meaningful and holy experience. But some Shabbasos seem to distinguish themselves from the rest. Shabbos Bereishis fills us with excitement and hope for bright future. Shabbos HaGadol (the Shabbos before Pesach) reminds us that redemption is in the air. And it is with this excitement that we approach this coming Shabbos, Shabbos Nachamu, the Shabbos of consolation. The name of this Shabbos comes from the opening words of the Haftorah where the prophet Yeshayahu says, “Nachamu Nachamu Ami, Be consoled, be consoled my people (Isaiah 40:1).” We began to feel this consolation after the fast of Tisha B’Av. When the fast ends we feel euphoric, excited and optimistic. But why? What has changed? The Temple has not yet been rebuilt, anti-Semitism still exists and there is still in-fighting within our people. Why is this Shabbos a Shabbos of Consolation when nothing has seemingly changed?

Rav Ephraim Oshry (1914-2003) provides an amazing insight. Rav Oshry was the Rav of the Kovno Ghetto and answered many questions of halacha (Jewish law) throughout the war. He compiled these heartbreaking, yet inspiring responsa in a work titled, Responsa from the Depths. In his introduction to the third volume he raises an interesting question. The Torah states:

“You shall remember what Amalek did to you on the way, when you went out of Egypt, How he happened upon you on the way and cut off all the stragglers at your rear, when you were faint and weary … Therefore, it will be, when the Lord your God grants you respite from all your enemies around [you] in the land which the Lord, your God, gives to you as an inheritance to possess, that you shall obliterate the remembrance of Amalek from beneath the heavens. You shall not forget! (Devorim 25:17-19).”

“Why must the Torah tell us to “remember” and “don’t forget”? Is this not redundant? Rav Oshry explained:  “God knew we would remember what Amalek (a reference to the Nazis) did to us. How can we not remember? The fire still burns, the pain is still acute. How can we not remember Auschwitz, the Ninth Fort, and Bergen Belsen ……?  But the Torah explains, ‘when the Lord your God, grants you respite from all your enemies …. In the land which the Lord your God, gives you as an inheritance to possess;” God knows that we will rebuild. We will rebuild our families, we will rebuild our wealth, we will rebuild our people, and we will rebuild ourselves. And we will begin to think, why should we hold on to the pain of the past? Let the past be the past. What good does it do to hold on the pain when all it does is hold me back and anchor me in my heartbroken circumstances? God knew that when life became good we would want to try to forget our pain. Therefore, God commands, “You shall not forget.” Even when life is beautiful – never forget your pain.”

But why not? After all, doesn’t there come a point in time when I have to let go of the past in order to build a future? Doesn’t there come a point when I should unshackle myself from the heartbreak in order to feel joy? The Torah is teaching us an important lesson. The Jew never forgets or buries his pain – the Jew owns his pain. I look at my pain and I ask myself what can I learn about myself, my life and my world from this difficult situation. I own my pain and use it as a catalyst for growth. I own my pain and use its lessons as the fuel for my engine of life productivity and meaning. “You Shall Remember,” is the natural reaction to pain – when the wound is open – the pain is clearly felt. But lest we think that at some point we need to forget to move on – God reminds us “You shall not forget.” Don’t try to bury, conceal or hide your pain – own it through learning and growing from it.

Perhaps, this is the consolation, the nechama of Shabbos Nachamu. It is on Tisha B’Av that we allow ourselves to experience the crushing burden of 2,000 years of collective and individual pain. At times throughout the day we feel as if our soul will burst from the sadness and despair. But then something amazing happens. We begin the process of owning our pain. We begin to learn from the tragedies. From our tears and tragedies we have learned the need for compassion, empathy and unconditional love. From our heartbreak, we have learned tolerance and respect. From our adversity, we have learned that there is no greater force in nature than the Jewish soul. And so we take these lessons and we inculcate within ourselves these powerful traits. We own our pain and we recognize that nothing and no one can stop me from accomplishing my spiritual goals and aspirations. The moment I learn from my pain and realize that my pain is the ultimate catalyst for my growth is the moment I begin to feel a wave of comfort. Those who own their pain are comforted by their pain.

I wish each of you a Shabbos of introspective consolation. May we merit the ultimate consolation with the arrival of the Moshiach, speedily in our days, amen.

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Devarim-Shabbos Chazon 5777: Proper Perspective

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The Mishna (Taanis) states, “Mi’shenichnas Av Mi’maatin B’simcha, when the month of Av begins, we decrease our displays of joy.” This is a heavy month. A month filled with historical and contemporary tragedy. A month in which we commemorate the destruction of the Beis Hamikdash and at the same time, actively mourn the members of  the Salomon family from Halamish who were brutally murdered at their Shabbos table. But the Mishna reminds us that the root of the mourning and devastation of this month is the Sin of the Spies. We couldn’t take God at His word, we couldn’t take Moshe at his word, we had to find out for ourselves. So we approached Moshe and told him we wanted to send spies. The results were tragic. The spies returned and told the people that the Land and   its inhabitants were simply “unconquerable.” These demoralizing words sent the people into a downward spiral. They cried. And it is here that the Talmud records a dramatic statement: “God said, ‘You have cried unnecessary tears, I will cause you to cry for many generations to come (Taanis 31).’” When did this report and Divine response occur? On the 9th of Av. It is the sin of the spies that created the tragic foundation for this difficult day. A foundation, which has seen layer after layer of tragedy added to it over the last two thousand years.

But did the punishment fit the crime? I understand that we were ungrateful and lacked faithfulness. But to condemn every Jew (over the age of 20) to death in the desert; to mark this day for ongoing tragedy – seems a bit disproportionate? Furthermore, the people tried to do teshuva (repent). The very next morning the Torah relates that the people arose early in the morning and ascended to the mountain top, saying, “We are ready to go up to  the place of which the Lord spoke, for we have sinned.” Moses said, “Why do you transgress the word of the Lord?  It will not succeed. Do not go up, for the Lord is not among you, [so that] you will not be beaten by your enemies (Bamidbar 14:39-41).” They acknowledged their mistake and they tried to right the wrong, yet the punishment was still severe and swift. How are we to understand the nature of their mistake and the Divine reaction?

The Dubno Maggid (Rabbi Yaakov Kranz, 1740-1804) explains this dynamic with a mashal (parable). There was a fine young man who was known to be a Torah scholar with sterling middos (character traits) who was engaged to marry a young woman from a very wealthy family. One day the fathers were sitting down to discuss the financial arrangements for the upcoming wedding. The father of the bride told the father of the groom, “I am so happy our children are getting married, we will be happy to pay for the wedding. My only request is that you take care of outfitting your son for the wedding. But it is important that you buy him a suit of the finest materials.”  To which the father of the groom responded, “My dear friend, I, too, share your excitement for the upcoming wedding of our children and I have much appreciation for your generosity. I am a man of virtually no means and while I can certainly afford a basic wardrobe for my son, I can’t purchase the type of clothing you are suggesting.”  “Well if you can’t provide this one small part, then the wedding is off!” replied the father of the bride. And so the beautiful match ended. A few months went by and the father of the bride regretted his hasty decision. The groom was such a fine young man with such sterling character, how could he justify breaking off the nuptials over a suit. He contacted the father of the groom and voiced his desire to have their children marry. “My dear friend, replied the father of the groom, my son is a very special young man who has much potential. Yet, you were willing to cast him aside because of a suit. Any family that would treat my son this way doesn’t truly appreciate who my son is. I no longer wish for my son to be a part of your family.”

The Dubno Maggid explains, when the spies maligned the Land of Israel, it highlighted a fundamental lack of love and appreciation for the Land. This wasn’t simply a lack of proper judgment; this sin represented a fundamental lack of understanding of the preciousness and holiness of the Land. A mistake of this magnitude could not simply be remedied by attempting to march on the Land the next day, nor could it be remedied by simply apologizing. It would take another forty years of nomadic existence to cultivate an appreciation for a home, for a land, for a destiny. The real sin of the spies was that all they saw were the problems; they didn’t see the beauty and good.

There is nothing in life that is perfect, everything and everyone has their strengths and weaknesses but if all I see is what is broken and wrong – I end up appreciating nothing. Many of us have struggles with which we must contend each and every day but we must be careful that these struggles don’t obscure or eclipse our blessings. It is easy to lose one’s self in the sadness and despair of difficult circumstances. We must always maintain a healthy   disposition and recognize all of the beautiful berachos and bounty we possess as well.

This lesson has an important interpersonal ramification as well. There is an amazing Gemara.

Rabbi Chiya’s wife was a difficult person. Yet, whenever he would come across a nice item he would purchase it, wrap it and give it to his wife (as a gift). Rav (Rabbi Chiya’s student) observed this and said, ‘Rebbe, why are you doing this? We see how she often mistreats you. To which Rabbi Chiya responded, ‘It is enough (I have gratitude) that she raises the children (she is a wonderful mother) and saves me from sin’ (Yevamos 63a).”

Apparently Rabbi Chiya didn’t have a story book marriage. There were complications. Yet, Rabbi Chiya chose to see the beautiful parts of his wife’s personality. Rabbi Chiya realized that in life nothing and no one is perfect – and you have to choose through which lens you will view others and the world. People wrong us, people hurt us, but we must learn how to see the positive aspects in the other.   This is not just in marriage. The Rabbi Chiya standard must guide and inform all of our interpersonal relationships.

This coming week, we will observe what is undoubtedly the saddest day in our year, the 9th of Av. It is a day when we remember 2,000 years of tragedy, loss and sadness. It is a day when we will remember the sin of the spies, the more than 1,000,000 who died when Yerushalayim fell to the Romans, the 6,000,000 Kedoshim, those who have been murdered in acts of terror and tragedy. There are many things that are broken in the world and so many things that are broken within each of us. Tisha B’Av is a day of tears for all that has been lost. Tisha B’Av is a day when we cry for the dreams which never materialized. Tisha B’Av is a day when we cry for those we have lost and whose absence is acutely felt by our nation. Yet, we must remember that even on Tisha B’Av itself, the mourning practices lessen as the day progresses. Because after we cry and after we mourn we must remind ourselves that  all is not lost. We each have beautiful blessings, each of us are beautiful blessings. As we dry our tears we pledge to ourselves that we will not lose ourselves in the abyss of sadness or despair. I will focus on that which is good. I will focus on my blessings. I will strain myself to see something beautiful and positive in every person. I will push myself to actively take stock of my personal blessings. I won’t be a spy. I won’t live life with a skewed perception. Perhaps, this is the merit we need. If we see the good in the other, ourselves and the world, maybe this will be the last Tisha B’Av marked with mourning.

May we merit to see the coming of Moshiach, the rebuilding of the Beis HaMikdash and the drying of our tears.

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Matos-Masei 5777: Rejuvenating Refuge

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The Lord spoke to Moses saying: Speak to the children of Israel and say to them, When you cross the Jordan to the land of Canaan, you shall designate cities for yourselves; they shall be cities of refuge for you, and a murderer who killed a person unintentionally shall flee there. These cities shall serve you as a refuge from an avenger, so that the murderer shall not die until he stands in judgment before the congregation. The cities that you provide shall serve as six cities of refuge for you. You shall provide the three cities in trans-Jordan and the three cities in the land of Canaan; they shall be cities of refuge. These six cities shall be a refuge for the children of Israel and for the proselyte and resident among them, so that anyone who unintentionally kills a person can flee there (Bamidbar 35:9-15).

The Torah provides protection for the accidental killer through the creation of the Ir Miklat, the City of Refuge. These cities were scattered throughout the land and provided refuge to the individual who had inadvertently killed another. From the Torah’s perspective there is a strong level of personal liability even for an accidental act. Therefore, the accidental killer must remain within the city of refuge in order to avoid the vengeance of the victim’s surviving relatives.

But what is the message? What is the accidental killer supposed to learn during his exile? And by extension what we are to learn from the city of refuge?

Rav Yosef Shalom Elyashiv zt’l (1910-2012) provides a beautiful insight. The Gemara questions why the accidental killer should be subject to any repercussions. After all, accidents happen. To which the  Gemara responds, “D’ibayey L’Iyunei,” he should have been more cognizant and aware. Accidents are often the result of not paying enough attention to the task at hand. Accidents occur because of a lack of focus and dedicated attentiveness. But it is not only tragic accidents which occur because I am not paying attention. Sometimes, I fail to progress and move my life forward because I am too busy multi-tasking. There are times when I fail to place my full strength and abilities into a particular life endeavor and therefore, I don’t move forward. The accidental killer in the extreme example of one who lives life without dedicated focus and attentiveness. But this is something many of us struggle with. We begin something meaningful and beautiful and then lose focus on the intended aspiration. We create lofty  goals and then get busy with other things. The accidental killer must remain in the city of refuge in order to regain his life focus. The cities of refuge were also home to the Tribe of Levi. The Leviim were individuals with a singular focus. Their tribal mandate was to serve in the Temple and provide religious instruction and leadership for the nation. They were so dedicated to this mandate that nothing would distract them. Hence, they were not given additional lands in Israel lest they get distracted with farming. They were supported through various tithes lest they get caught up in a career. They embodied the  power of singular focus. And so, the accidental killer who is stricken with “life distraction” must remain in the ir miklat, where he can observe the Leviim and learn about “life focus.”

The Apter Rav, known affectionately as the Oheiv Yisroel (Rav Avraham Yehoshua Heshel, Poland, 1748- 1825) advances a different explanation. The Rebbe explains that the original six Cities of Refuge correspond to the six words we recite daily in the Shema, Shema Yisroel Ado-nai Elohey-nu Ado-nai Echad, “Hear, O Israel, the Lord is our God, the Lord is One.” After crossing the Jordan and settling in Israel there were another forty two cities designated as cities of refuge – for a total of forty-eight cities of refuge. The number of words from the beginning of Shema through the end of the first paragraph (V’Ahavta) totals forty-eight. The Oheiv Yisroel explained the deeper meaning behind this connection. The declaration of Shema Yisroel is a “City of Refuge” in which any Jew, no matter what his sin or history, can find shelter and protection.

We live in a fast-paced, ever-changing world. We look to find an anchor, something to hold on to, something to ground us, a stabilizing force in the sometimes turbulent waters of life. A meaningful and passionate relationship with God provides that sought after stability. This is the connection between the cities of refuge and the words of Shema. Just as the city of refuge provided safety and security for one in   a dangerous and precarious situation – the words of Shema, the Torah, Mitzvos and all forms of connection with God endow us with a sense of protection, safety and security. And in the same way a city of refuge welcomed the individual despite the fact that he had made a terrible mistake – God’s embrace is open to all – even those who may be spiritually tarnished or compromised.

These are the profound lessons and messages of the ir miklat. The City of Refuge reminds us to be attentive in life. Keep your eye on the ball. If there are things you need to accomplish don’t lose your focus. Because the moment you stop paying attention is the moment your life can go in all kinds of unintended directions. The City of Refuge reminds us that God loves us and is willing to welcome us back home no matter how severe our mistakes and missteps may be. Even if we have wandered or strayed, even if we have lost our direction, God provides us with multiple avenues of connection in an effort to provide us with life-lines and refuge in the most difficult of times.

This coming week we will usher in the Hebrew month of Av. This is a month in which we commemorate two thousand years of tragedy, sadness and persecution. It is during Av that we remember the  destruction of our two Temples, the crusades, the pogroms and the Holocaust. It is during this month   that we remember the millions lost throughout centuries of hardship and sadness. It is during this month that we focus on our present day challenges as individuals and as a nation. Despite the adversity we must recommit ourselves to actualizing our dreams and goals. We can’t get distracted or lose direction. We must lead attentive lives. Despite the adversity we must remember how truly privileged we are to have the opportunity to create, cultivate and nurture a relationship with God. It is this relationship that is our anchor, it is this relationship that fills us with courage, it is this relationship that provides us the safety and security we so desperately need. The words of our Torah, beautiful Mitzvos, moving prayers, and acts of kindness are the cities of refuge to which we must journey.

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Pinchas 5777: Love and Respect – The Ultimate Dispute

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The Lord spoke to Moses, saying:  Pinchas the son of Eleazar the son of Aaron the kohen has turned My anger away from the children of Israel by his zealously avenging Me among them, so that I did not destroy the children of Israel because of My zeal. Therefore, say, “I hereby give him My covenant of peace. (Bamidbar 25:10-12)

It was a dark chapter for our people. We had fallen into the abyss of immorality with the nation of Midyan. Pinchas saw the terrible Chilul Hashem (Desecration of God’s name) and took decisive action to stop this downward spiral. His actions were not motivated by anger or resentment; they were a manifestation of his love, care and concern for his people. As a result God rewards him with the covenant of peace, bris shalom.

Pinchas was fortunate in that he was given the covenant of peace, we too must work to create this bris shalom for ourselves. Especially, during this period of time, the Three Weeks we must try to right our historical wrongs. Our current 2,000+ year diaspora came about as a result of sinas chinam, unwarranted hatred. Our greatest threat has never been the Babylonians, Persians, Greeks and Romans; our greatest threat is often ourselves. Our inability to love each other as we should is often at the root of many national issues.

Our Torah is filled with many beautiful and meaningful mitzvos (commandments). These mitzvos teach us how to create and sustain a relationship with God and with one another. Imagine for a moment if you were to be asked, which is the most important of all of God’s commandments? Which mitzvah do you think outweighs the rest? Perhaps, it is Shabbos or Bris Milah (circumcision) both of which are referred to as an “Os” (sign) between God and His nation. Perhaps, it is not any one particular mitzvah but a unit of mitzvos like the Aseres HaDibros (Ten Commandments) which are the spiritual centerpiece of our Torah. In fact the great sage, Rav Saadiah Gaon explains that all of the 613 mitzvos are derivatives of the Ten Commandments. Long before you and I pondered this question, the great rabbinic sages were conducting this very discussion.

You shall love your neighbor as you love yourself (Leviticus 19:18); Rabbi Akiva said, “This is an important principle of the Torah.” Ben Azai said, “This is the narrative of the generations of man on the day that God created man, in the likeness of God He created him” (Genesis 5:1), is even more important (Sifra, Kedoshim).

Rabbi Akiva and his disciple Ben Azai were trying to figure out what is the most important, core principle we have in our Torah. Rabbi Akiva explains that everything comes from loving the other. This is reminiscent of the story of the gentile who approached the great sage Hillel and said, “I want to convert on the condition that you (Hillel) teach me the entire Torah standing on one foot.” To which Hillel responded, “That which is despicable to you, do not visit upon the other.” Rabbi Akiva continues this tradition and explains that the mitzvah of “V’Ahavta L’Reyacha Kamocha, Love your fellow as you love yourself” is the most important tenet of our belief. If you can’t love another how can you love God? If you can’t love someone who you can see, touch and experience, how can you love that which is amorphous and beyond the scope of human comprehension? If you work to love your fellow Jew, you will come to love God.

Ben Azai, Rabbi Akiva’s trusted disciple disagreed with his rebbe (teacher). However, at first glance we don’t understand Ben Azai’s statement. There is no mitzvah contained in the verse he quoted. This verse, from the fifth chapter of Bereishis (Genesis) begins a list of the life-spans of the generations beginning with Adam. What is the nature of Ben Azai’s disagreement with Rabbi Akiva? Rav Asher Weiss advances a beautiful insight. Ben Azai says, “My great teacher, Rabbi Akiva if only we could be as pure as you. It would be wonderful to think that we could love each other as we love ourselves. But this aspiration is fraught with so many problems. There are people who have wronged me and it is difficult for me to forgive, let alone love them. There are people who do bad things and who is to say they deserve my love. There are people who are simply not “loveable” as a result of their temperament and disposition. And therefore, I would like to suggest something else. There is something greater and more important than love – respect. We can’t love every other Jew, but we can learn to respect them. “This is the narrative of the generations of man on the day that God created man, in the likeness of God He created him

(Genesis 5:1).” Every Jew (it is true for all humanity, but let’s first focus on loving each other), is made in the image of God and for that alone (s)he deserves my respect. To require us to love one another is a tall order, but to respect each other; this is attainable.”

Such a powerful lesson. Perhaps, it isn’t possible to love everyone – but I must work on my ability to respect the other. There is a societal trend to vilify anyone who does not share “my” views. This is true on an individual and national level. Even the most “open minded” of people often lack tolerance for opinions and views that may differ from their own. The Jewish people are comprised of multiple streams. I identify as a Torah Jew who tries (I admit, that I must try harder) to adhere to the laws of the Torah as they have been handed down for thousands of years.   I vehemently disagree with other interpretations of Judaism and am fiercely protective of my faith. I will not compromise in matters of Halacha (Jewish Law) and I will resist those who try to tell me that Judaism must consistently adapt or cater to contemporary sensitivities or various types of ‘isms” (I know this sounds strong – I  am a traditionalist). But at the same time, I respect the right of my fellow Orthodox, Conservative and Reform brothers and sisters to have their views. Even within the big tent of Orthodox Judaism we have many different streams. I often find it difficult to figure out my place. Maybe it’s because deep down – I wish it wasn’t this way. No matter what I agree or disagree with – I pledge to my fellow Jews that our dialogue will be with respect and love. This is the Ben Azai way.

It is true, at the end of the day decisions must be made, action must be taken and someone’s opinion will not be accepted. But if we hear the other and validate the other in the course of a dialogical process, perhaps, we can emerge from the most difficult of discussions as brothers.

This past week we observed the fast of the 17th of Tammuz. It was on this day thousands of years ago that the walls of Jerusalem were breached. Three weeks later our beloved Beis HaMikdash (Temple) was set ablaze. So much of the hardship, so many of the heartbreaking difficulties were the result of infighting, factionalism and indifference to the other. We don’t have to agree – we just have to respect. We can do better, we can be better.

What is the most important mitzvah of the Torah? I’m not sure – much greater men have pondered this question and the answer still seems far from reach. But here is what I do know. The path forward must be lined with love for our fellow Jew. But before we can love we must learn to respect. Some think that the way to demonstrate allegiance to one’s beliefs and ideologies is to disparage those who believe differently. If I can knock down your belief – then mine must be stronger. We can disagree. And if we feel there are problems and religious or intellectual inconsistencies within other approaches to Judaism we should vigorously discuss and debate. We need not compromise our beliefs and values we hold dear in order to make someone else feel happy, accepted or validated. But we must respect the other no matter how deep the divide or disagreement. Why? “…for in the likeness of God, He created him;” we are each a beautiful Tzelem Elokim (image of God). May we be privileged to see this Divine identity within ourselves and may we be courageous enough to see it within one another.

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