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0:00 All right. Good evening everyone. 0:11 Good evening. Good evening. 0:11 Is it too loud? 0:13 >> Good. Okay. Excellent. All right. 0:15 Good evening everyone. It is a great Hashem and to be able to be here tonight is for everyone for our free yim with an opportunity for us to spend a little bit of time preparing for the yam. 0:27 Like most things in life, I think I always give this by way of introduction. 0:30 Most things in life are only as meaningful as the amount of preparation that you put into it. 0:36 It's true in our personal lives, it's true in our relationships, it's true in our careers. 0:39 If I'm willing to put in preparation and I'm willing to work, then there's no telling what I could accomplish. 0:43 But if I kind of roll into life and I just roll into situations, generally they tend to be less important, less impactful, less meaningful, and less successful. 0:54 And of course, our Yiddish kite is no different. 0:56 the more preparation that we put into our kite, the more preparation we put into the righte hopefully the more meaningful and impactful experience that we have. 1:07 So with that our goal tonight and we thank our annual sponsor of for dedicating all the shos this year as so what we're going to try to do tonight a little bit is to try to prepare for the specifically again 1:26 rash although again there are so many different parts to our yim journey has one dynamic rash a different one between and each and every one of these days and each and one of these segments of time has their own unique 1:46 identity their own unique avod. 1:48 So tonight we're going to be singularly focused on so let us begin source number one with a Mishna inash very well-known Mishna and the Mishna says as follows the world is judged at four different times four different intervals the We 2:08 are judged regarding wheat. 2:10 How much wheat? How much crop is there going to be? 2:15 We are judged for the tree, the fruit of the trees. 2:24 All of the inhabitants of the world come before maron. 2:30 So again, that term itself is quite cryptic. 2:34 What does that mean? 2:35 We'll just we'll come back to that in just a moment. 2:39 And ultimately on we are judged for rainfall. 2:43 So of course we know if I were to ask you what does it mean? 2:49 What does that mean? 2:51 Like what does that mean? 2:53 Like sheep actually gives three different interpretations. 2:57 The first that the says is amaro which means like sheep. 3:03 What does this mean? 3:04 We come before Hashem like sheep and Rashi explains it's actually a reference to maimma. 3:08 There's a that says you have to tide your animals. 3:11 So how would you tie your animals? 3:12 So Rashi paints the picture for us. 3:14 You'd have a pen filled with your animals filled with sheep. 3:17 And what would happen? 3:18 You'd have a very narrow small a small opening in the pen. 3:21 The animals go out 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9. 3:28 Animal number 10 is your ma is your tithe animal. 3:32 The farmer or the shepherd would stand it with a little paint brush, a little bit of red paint, dab a little bit of paint on the sheep and that's your beha. 3:42 So the what's the imagery? 3:43 What what's the imagery the Gimmer is trying to impress upon us? 3:45 What would you say? 3:46 What's the imagery that we come before one by one that whereas so much of Yiddish is done in a group setting so much of Yiddish kite is about being part of the collective being part of the group there are certain 4:01 things in life that you do alone and that you have to do alone says is one of those things we go one at a time we come before one at a time sheep after sheep individual after individual and who goes 4:14 before at this time. 4:16 Everyone, everyone. It's interesting by the way, if you notice, it doesn't say, it says, what does literally mean? 4:26 How would you translate that? 4:28 >> Anyone who comes to the world, which sounds like who's being what what's happening? 4:31 Who does this impact? 4:32 Sounds like it impacts all of humanity. 4:35 So, this is the motif that is a day of judgment. 4:38 Right? Remember again if we were to kind of attach an identity to our various toim. 4:45 So working backwards yum kiper is a day of atonement a day of forgiveness. 4:49 Rashashana is a day of judgment. 4:51 Why the day of judgment comes before the day of forgiveness? 4:54 We'll save that for a different year. 4:56 But Rashashana ultimately again is a day of judgment. 5:00 What kind of judgment? 5:01 One by one. There is no being part of the group. 5:06 There is no being part even of the rash is an individual experience between myself and and what's the purpose of the individual time for hashem to go ahead and judge me like the says in the what happens the righteous are 5:24 inscribed in the book of life the wicked are inscribed in the book of death the people in between kind of they have suspended judgment if they do chuva over the course of chuva they're inscribed in the book of life If 5:36 they don't do cha, they're inscribed in the book of death. 5:38 Now, leaving aside that, the Rambam really seems to ascribe an incredible amount of simplicity to the way the world works. 5:45 And it doesn't often seem to work that way. 5:47 There are plenty of righteous people who die and then there are plenty of wicked people who prosper. 5:51 But leaving aside that theological conundrum ultimately again that's the essence of rash. 5:57 We come before one by one for judgment. 6:02 There's no escaping it. 6:03 There's no running for it from it. 6:06 It happens to all of us. 6:06 In fact, the Ariza says something amazing. 6:09 The Ariza writes actually quotes it says that if you cry over rash, this is incredible. 6:16 If you shed tears over rash, that shows at that very moment that you're crying, you're in the sha is being judged. 6:24 So if you experience tears over rash, that is when you're being judged. 6:28 It doesn't mean that it's a bad judgment. 6:30 It just means that the process and the overwhelming nature of judgment manifests itself in this world in the emergence of tears. 6:40 Incredible statement. So there's a simple question here. 6:44 Why isn't the Mishna more explicit? 6:48 In other words, we have to really get into the rash. 6:51 What happens over the what happens? 6:57 All the inhabitants of the world come before Hashem like Ben Maron. 7:02 Like Ben Maron. Why don't you just say that's what how would you phrase it? 7:06 What happens? >> We're judged. 7:10 All of humanity is judged. 7:11 Period. Period. All of humanity comes before judgment. 7:16 That's the end of the story. 7:18 Why say it cryptically? 7:20 Why say it in a way right? 7:21 I need to understand what is. 7:23 By the way, even in Bon there's, like I said before, there's multiple different interpretations as to what exactly that phrase means. 7:30 Not everybody agrees that it means like sheep coming out of the pen. 7:34 So, if is truly a day of judgment and that's the essence of the day, shouldn't the Mishna be more explicit? 7:43 Just tell me. Just tell me. 7:45 And by the way, what I want to point out to you is this is the only Mishna that makes reference to the identity of Rashashana. 7:53 Because the truth is you can really compound this question. 7:56 How does the Torah refer to Rashana? 7:58 How refers to Rash know Torah calls Rashana a day of tru what does that mean? 8:08 What? So in general it's not just a question on the Mishna. 8:12 It's really a question on the Torah itself. 8:14 If you were to read the Kumish from cover to cover and somebody were to quiz you on what you just learned and they were to ask you, tell me what is the essence of Rash, you would not know. 8:25 You would not know. 8:26 It's a day of trua. 8:27 Okay, I I I guess that means something. 8:29 What does trua mean? 8:30 Is trua remember again there are two ways to produce truis? 8:33 You could produce a truer with a chauffeur. 8:35 You could produce a trua with a trumpet. 8:38 Which one is it? 8:39 How many truis are you doing? 8:40 Why am I doing these truis? 8:42 So it's not really a question just on the Mishna. 8:44 It's a general question on on rashash shana that why would such an incredibly important day, a day of global judgment be shrouded in such ambiguity. 8:59 So this is not a new question. 9:01 This is an age-old question and much ink has been spilled over the generations to explain this. 9:06 I want to share with you tonight a little bit of a different approach. 9:08 Take a look at number two. 9:10 So here I'm referencing you to the quest for the Torah reading of the first day of Hashem remembered Sah for pregnancy as he said Hashem did for he promised she became pregnant and Sah gave birth to a son at his 9:33 old age good made gave birth to a says ultimately again. 9:45 So this is the Torah reading for the first day. 9:48 Why is this the Torah reading for the first day of why? 9:52 Because the Gimar says something amazing that onash three out of the four imos who suffered with infertility were remembered were remembered for children on rashash. 10:09 So to remember the fact so it sounds like what it's saying over here is not only is rashashana a day of judgment. 10:15 Well it is a day of judgment but judgment isn't just about life or death. 10:18 Even if one is inscribed for life, there are many other details that go into the fabric of our lives. 10:24 So sel ultimately again we're remembered for child birth. 10:36 We're remembered for pregnancy on so that makes a lot of sense that that's the what's interesting is if you take a look at source number three something interesting happens. 10:50 If you take a look at number three, you'll see something interesting. 10:54 So this is the rest of the Torah reading. 11:03 So this is a this is a riveting story. 11:05 So is born already is growing up. 11:09 He's past the age of weaning, past the age of three. 11:12 One day Sah comes to and she says you need to go ahead and expel Hagar and from the home was obviously distressed about this. 11:26 Remember again's entire essence was Kir. 11:29 His entire essence was remember again a tent with four doors open on all side was all about bringing people close and now his wife his life partner is saying you need to expel your other wife and her son very distressed 11:46 about this don't worry says don't worry about the or tells, "Don't worry. 12:03 Don't worry. Hagar is going to be okay. 12:06 Is going to be okay. 12:07 Everyone's going to be okay. 12:08 But your future, your destiny doesn't come through or it comes through and it's now time to focus yourself on building your destiny. 12:20 However, but don't worry. 12:24 is going to become a great nation onto his own. 12:26 So sure enough, what happens the next morning and the next morning expels and from the familial home. 12:45 He complies with the wishes of Sah. 12:47 He complies with the command of and he expels them from his home. 12:53 So it's interesting. So this is part of the Torah reading on rash. 12:57 But the obvious question is why what what is the first part I understand source number two which speaks about again the pregnancy of the birth of I understand why that why that shows up on because onash itself were remembered for 13:16 pregnancy. That makes sense. 13:18 But why do we have to include the entire Yes narrative in the Torah forash? 13:24 And obviously if it's there, it must mean that it has some type of deeper meaning for us. 13:31 Why is the story part of our narrative onash? 13:37 So I want to share with you something amazing and this to me is is perhaps one of the most striking midrashim most striking midrashim and the truth is usually not not a yummy norm season goes by where I don't quote 13:50 it in some context so this year it'll be in this this year because the emotion of it the profoundity of it and the message of it are so incredibly overwhelming. 13:58 So let's take a look at source number four. 14:00 So listen to this. 14:01 So the medish, remember right after source number three, what happens in the Torah? 14:06 What happens? So remember again that's the whole episode where Yeshal is dying. 14:11 He's sick, right? Huger goes ahead and puts him underneath uh bushes that she shouldn't see him die. 14:16 The angel appears. Ishmael is saved and Yeshal and Hagar essentially go on their way. 14:22 We don't really hear anything more about the next time we hear about is when after died then so the Torah says that came back for the he came back for the la and he participated in the burial of his father 14:39 that's the next time that we hear anything about so again he's expelled from the home the next time we hear about him is when he comes home for his father's levia the medish tells us there is a whole shepher chapter 14:52 of this story in between. 14:55 Take a look at source number four paragraph. 15:02 So the goes on grew up. 15:04 He got married. He got married. 15:06 He married a Moabitete girl. 15:08 And what happened is three years later, three years after a had expelled Ishmael, he goes to visit him. 15:19 He goes to see how he's doing. 15:21 Listen to this. Now, you could imagine, by the way, that Su wasn't too happy with this, right? 15:27 Because Sah really didn't want Abraham to be occupied with her relationship with Ishmael. 15:34 She didn't feel it was constructive. 15:35 She didn't feel it was helpful. 15:37 She didn't feel it was good for him. 15:38 Right? And therefore again he makes a compromise. 15:41 Right? Says going to see Ishmael and S says you can go with one condition. 15:46 You can't get off your camel. 15:49 In other words, you could go give him see how he's doing. 15:54 Don't visit. Don't dismount. 15:55 Nothing stealing your camel. 15:57 Okay, says sure enough set out to see his oldest son. 16:06 He set out to see Ishma and he arrived at Ishmal's home midday. 16:13 He sees Ishmal's wife. 16:15 Now, obviously, Mrs. Ishmal has no idea that this is her father-in-law. 16:19 She has no idea who this man is. 16:21 So, he says to her, Where is she? She said to him, "Oh, he went with his mother to collect fruit, vegetation from the desert." 16:41 So says to Mrs. 16:43 Ish, he says, "Can you give me a little bit of water and bread? 16:47 I had a long journey and I'm tired. 16:49 Can you give me a little something to eat and drink?" 16:51 She responds, She says, "I have no water. 16:57 I have no bread." 16:59 So understood that she was not telling the truth, but she just wasn't the hospitable young woman. 17:05 So says, "Okay, I have to leave, but can you leave a message?" 17:14 Do me a favor. 17:15 When comes back home, give him the following message. 17:19 Say to him, Listen to the message that Abram leaves for tell an old man from came to see him. 17:33 An old man from Cananan came to see him and live and tell him change the threshold of your home because it's not good for you. 17:47 Now what was this a metaphor for? 17:49 The what's the threshold? 17:50 The threshold ultimately again as a wife is a wife telling telling right in a little bit of a coded message obviously you can't exactly tell your daughter-in-law you know my son could have really done better right some in-laws do do 18:04 that right right but so therefore he gives her this coded message tell an old man from Kenan came to see him you know doesn't know too many old men from Kenan tell an old man from Kenan came to see him 18:17 and tell him that I said he should change the threshold hold of his home. 18:21 Okay. When is came back from the desert. 18:29 So comes back. So Mrs. 18:31 Ishmael gives him the message. 18:33 He realizes the message. 18:34 He understands Fatima Schma. 18:42 Schmal took the took the mus of his father and divorced his first wife and ultimately married a second woman by the name of Fatima says her name. 18:51 Okay. Paragraph B. Paragraph B. 18:54 Listen to that story continues. 19:01 Another three years goes by and decides I have to go see Ishmael. 19:05 Remember again never wanted to expel his son. 19:09 Adam never wanted to part ways from his son and that pain that he must have lived with day in and day out. 19:14 So three years go by have to see Ishmael once again Sah doesn't want him to go. 19:26 So what's the deal with the you can go but what can't get off the camel. 19:33 You got to stay on the camel. 19:35 Give a high five. 19:37 whatever you want to do, but don't get off that camel. 19:41 Don't get off that camel. 19:44 So what happens? So he comes back again. 19:47 Comes back midday and once again is not home and he says to Mrs. 19:57 Where is he went out with his mother to go ahead and I guess the right term is like graze the camels in in the wilderness. 20:10 Okay. So says to Abram asks her so says can you give me a little bit of bread a little bit of water? 20:23 I'm so tired from the journey. 20:25 So what happened? And this time, Mrs. 20:30 Ishmael Fatima went ahead and brought out bread and water and gave it to So listen to how the med ends. 20:44 So you have to understand one purpose in making the journey. 20:48 And what was the purpose? 20:50 To see his son. 20:52 But no matter how many times shows up to try to see, it just doesn't work. 20:58 It just it just doesn't say it just it doesn't work. 21:02 It does it doesn't come together. 21:04 And knows he can't stay. 21:07 Why can't he stay? 21:08 Because S told him he can't stay and is not his future and is his future and S is his life partner and he owes her everything. 21:19 So caught in the middle of this but so badly wanting to see his son. 21:25 So he realizes he has to go. 21:27 He can't wait for. 21:28 So what does he do? 21:34 Stood at the entrance of Ishmael's tent. 21:36 Listen to the And he ded for his son. 21:41 He ded for the success of Ishmal. 21:43 Venezuela is home filled with every type of braha. 21:56 And thenu leaves. He couldn't stay. 22:00 What happens? A little while later I comes home and what does he see? 22:06 He sees that his home that his tent is filled with all of these beautiful bras. 22:14 He asks his wife, "What happened here?" 22:17 And his wife tells him, "Same message. 22:20 An old man from Kenan came. 22:24 He wanted to see you. 22:26 He couldn't stay. But he davened outside of our home. 22:31 And now our home is filled with all of this incredible and bountiful." 22:35 And the manager says, And in that moment, Ishmael fully understood how much his father loved him. 22:53 Aim like a father loves his children. 22:58 An overwhelming and tragic story, but yet beautiful all at the same time. 23:03 a father and son who can't really ever fully connect because at the end of the day Armabinu and Yeshal are just two totally wave different wavelengths and Yeshal has a destiny also but it's so dramatically different than his father's destiny 23:19 and there's another son and there's two wives and Yeshal had to be expelled from the home but at the end you can imagine by the way you can imagine how Yeshua must have felt when he was expelled those feelings of 23:33 rejection of rejection. Parental rejection is one of the strongest forms of pain in this world. 23:41 And anyone who has ever experienced parental rejection knows it doesn't matter how old you get. 23:46 It doesn't matter how successful you become. 23:49 It doesn't matter how many other metrics of life success you have. 23:52 The pain of parental rejection eats at a person's core at their very essence. 23:59 Which makes sense, right? 24:00 Because again, it wasn't Sigman Freud wasn't the first one who discovered that our relationship with our parents is core is core to our general emotional and spiritual well-being. 24:13 We knew this way before Freud. 24:16 And we also knew that when that relationship is fractured in some way, shape or form, there is a piece of us that is damaged. 24:23 There's a that doesn't mean I can't be great. 24:25 Doesn't mean I can't be excellent. 24:26 Doesn't mean I can't be amazing. 24:27 But there's a piece of me right as children on the most basic level. 24:31 What I need, what every single child needs is I need affirmation from my parent. 24:38 I need to know that I have that love. 24:40 I need to know that I have that security. 24:42 I need to know that I have that level of acceptance. 24:46 And Yeshua at a very pivotal time in life, 13 years old, in his mind, lost all of that. 24:53 My father kicked me out of the house. 24:55 My father rejected me. 24:56 My father has, you know, his son, right? 24:58 That she's chosen son Yeitzk with his chosen partner with Sah and me and my mother, we're just we're just irrelevant. 25:07 We're just irrelevant. So you you could kick us out of the house with a little bit of water, a little bit of bread and all of that profound parental rejection. 25:15 And all of those years, if you're asking yourself, someone asked, "How's your relationship with your father?" 25:21 You know, you know what I think would have said? 25:23 You know what he would have said? 25:25 I think he would have said what father what what father are you referring to? 25:30 I have a strong mother. 25:32 Right? Because it's also interesting by the way that if you notice both times, who is Ishma out with, right? 25:37 He's with his mother because his mother believed in him, right? 25:41 His mother never left his side. 25:42 So I know my mother feels I'm privileged to have a mother like Hagar, but father, I couldn't tell you anything about my father because the truth is he rejected me. 25:52 And meanwhile, all this time, what does he want more than anything? 25:58 He just wants Ishmael to know, I promise like I didn't reject you. 26:01 I promise I didn't reject you. 26:04 There are things that happen in this world that sometimes make us do things that we don't want to do. 26:09 And sometimes those decisions end up fracturing relationships not because we want them to, but just because it's a de facto almost like reaction, just collateral damage that occurs that no one ever wanted to happen. 26:22 And so Armainu shows up at Ishmal's tent over and over and over. 26:28 But every single time I Yeshal is not home. 26:32 And it's almost interesting. 26:33 It's almost as if in his last visit understood he was an old man already and understood I may never get the opportunity to tell my child that I love him. 26:43 I may never be able to tell him those words. 26:46 So I need to do something that he knows that despite everything that has happened, I have always loved him and I will always love him. 26:57 And so by the entrance way of his son's tent, Yeshal's tent fills with all of the beautiful physical bounty you could find in this world. 27:07 And in that moment, Yeshal says, "My father loves me. 27:13 My father loves me." 27:15 And amazingly enough, where does this heartbreaking but yet beautiful story where where does it appear? 27:21 On rash on rashash. 27:24 It's amazing. So right after the section where becomes pregnant and has a child because again were remembered for pregnancy on rash at the end of the day right after that is the ishal story. 27:37 Why is the ishal story on rash? 27:41 for one simple lesson. 27:44 A father never gives up on his son. 27:48 That's the message. As parents, as parents, those of us are the parents, we know the one thing you can never do is give up on your children. 27:57 Your children will disappoint you. 27:59 That's part of parenting. 28:00 Sometimes it's because they've legitimately failed and sometimes it's just because that your expectations for them are incorrect. 28:08 But of course, our children will disappoint us. 28:10 We we every single one of us have disappointed our parents at some point in time in life and our children will disappoint us. 28:17 That's that's the way human relationship just like by the way just like if you could bank on one thing in every single marriage it is come on ladies you know right your husband will disappoint you also just like and I 28:30 apologize for saying this you will profoundly disappoint your husbands cuz that's the way it works that's relationships are dynamic people never always live up to expectations we often have flawed expectations of other people so people don't meet our expectations who 28:44 says your expectations were correct But at the end of the day, a parent never gives up on a child. 28:53 Do you know what the message of the message of Yeshu is? 28:57 That at the end of the day never gives up on us. 29:06 Theo never gives up on us. 29:09 No matter how much we fail, no matter how much we disappoint, no matter how many times, right? 29:14 I would imagine that many of us have the same experience when we come to right much more like when we get to where there's a lot more like vidi confession something amazing happens during vid right which is how many times 29:28 have you come to and you say I committed a new a this year that I never performed before does that happen to him on a frequent basis no generally generally it's good news right generally it's not like I come to 29:44 you I'm ker I'm really sorry. 29:46 I committed 17 new averas this year that I never did before in my life. 29:50 More often that's not what happens to us. 29:51 But what does happen? 29:53 I'm apologizing for the same aas that I've committed over the last 20, 30, 40, 50, 60 years. 29:59 The same stuff, the same stuff. 30:02 And that's the most difficult part of and the most difficult part of that. 30:08 Why am I still struggling with the same stuff? 30:11 Why have I not made the life movement that I want to? 30:14 I'm ready to give up on myself. 30:16 And what happens on the first day of what happens on that first day? 30:20 The story of because the story of reminds us even knew that his father always loved him. 30:39 Yeshalt didn't always see the love and he certainly didn't always feel the love and therefore at times he thought it was probably absent but little did he know it was always there and this is the metaphor it's amazing is us 30:54 and the message for the first the beginning of is that ultimately again never gives up on us but what's the tragedy of start what's tragedy of the medish the real tragedy of the medish is father and son just can't seem 31:13 to connect. This by the way this happens a lot with parents and children. 31:17 A parent loves a child very much. 31:19 A child loves a parent loves a parent very much. 31:21 But like it's like two ships passing in the night, right? 31:24 They just they can't seem to get on the same page. 31:29 They just can't seem to connect with one another. 31:33 And that's the tragedy of this story. 31:35 And the truth is it happens to us in our all the time. 31:39 I just can't seem to align myself with God. 31:42 I just can't seem to get on the same page. 31:45 And says to us also, no matter what I give you, no matter what I do for you, I can't seem to get on the same page with you. 31:51 And so there's so much love between and us, between us and there's so much love that is there between the parent and the child, but like we're always missing each other. 32:04 So here's the beauty of Rash. 32:06 The beauty of Rash, what does the Mishna say? 32:08 What happens at Rash over the fun of everyone in the world passes before like sheep for judgment. 32:21 Do you know what judgment gets a person to do? 32:23 Think about this, right? 32:23 Let's say a person works in a an organization and for performance review, right? 32:28 How are you behaving at your perform your annual review? 32:30 How are you performing? 32:30 How how are you behaving? 32:33 Right? Your alert is it's interesting, right? 32:36 I don't think you'll ever find the person nodding off, right? 32:39 Or daydreaming or checking their email at their annual review. 32:43 Or at least that'll certainly be like the last annual review, right? 32:46 I recognize that like if I'm being reviewed, I'm on. 32:49 I'm on like like I'm plugged in. 32:52 Perhaps the essence of judgment on is not so much about judgment. 32:59 I know that might sound strange and I'll tell you why it's not so much about judgment. 33:04 If you think about it gives us so many chances to earn a favorable judgment, right? 33:13 Think about this just a moment. 33:15 When do the books when does the when do the books of life and death when do they close? 33:20 When do they close? 33:22 Right? So really again but no then then the zor tells us right and if you're a goodass right the bring down that actually the gates or the books remain open until and if you're an exceptionally good then ultimately bring down 33:41 that the actually remain open till and if you are a very good and really steeped in cabalistic literature you'll find that they're open until pes and then by the time we get the P, it's already almost L. 33:54 So really, again, let's just keep it open a little while longer. 33:58 There's chance after chance after chance after chance to get it right, which tells you that the goal over here is not judgment. 34:08 The goal over here is connection. 34:11 But how does catch our attention? 34:16 How does he get us to zone in? 34:19 How does he stop? 34:20 Because the whole year for so many of us, we're like and Hashem shows up at my tent. 34:26 He shows up at my life. 34:27 And where am I? 34:28 Where am I? I'm out. 34:30 And by the way, we're out with all kinds of things, right? 34:33 I'm out. I'm out busy with other things that are not necessarily great for my for some of us. 34:39 I'm out peververating and focusing on all the things that are going wrong and I'm not happy with that. 34:46 I don't see the entire home filled with beautiful bounty bag. 34:51 So is constantly showing up at my house and I'm always somewhere else. 34:56 I'm always somewhere else and time after time he keeps coming back and I'm I'm I'm just out I'm just out. 35:04 I'm out focused on the wrong things. 35:06 All the things that are broken instead of the things that are great. 35:09 I'm focused maybe on lifestyle things that are not really so good or not so conducive for the amplification of my and a whole year and years and lifetimes go by and and fatherh keeps showing up in my life and I'm 35:27 never home. So how does he catch that attention? 35:31 See Armavu was immortal as great as he was. 35:33 He was immortal as a human being. 35:35 So he recognized that he did not have forever in this world and therefore in the last visit he realized he was not coming back. 35:41 But how does get our attention and perhaps that's the essence of judgment. 35:48 Judgment is not meant to be scary. 35:50 Judgment is not meant to go ahead and instill a sense of and fear. 35:56 Judgment is the mechanism through which gets our divided attention. 36:03 Because when I say the first and I say, "Wow, the books of life and death are open. 36:17 The books of of para and poverty are open. 36:21 The books of child birth and fertility are open. 36:24 The books of and loneliness are open. 36:26 All all that's open. 36:28 I got to zone in." 36:30 says, "Finally. Finally, I have your attention. 36:36 The only thing I've ever wanted is your attention. 36:38 The only thing I've ever wanted is a relationship. 36:41 The only thing I've ever wanted is to be close to you. 36:45 But you're never home. 36:48 So, all I'm asking is I just want you to be home when I when I stop by. 36:51 I just want you to be attentive when I show up." 36:55 How does get our get how does he get our attention? 36:59 through judgment and but because the judgment is not the and this is so incredibly important we forget this because all too often we make the ining for the things we want now by the way there's nothing wrong with that that's 37:16 beautiful for what you want shows that you believe that is in control of everything and that's obviously that's amun that's that's incredible but that can't be the totality of my because if that's the totality, give me life. 37:32 Give me, give me, give me, give me, give me, give me, give me, give me, give me. 37:35 Okay, maybe I'm entitled to, maybe I'm not. 37:37 I'm sure you can give me. 37:38 If that's the totality of it, then ultimately again, I find myself immersed in transactional Judaism and I miss out on the most beautiful thing that exists in this universe. 37:51 And the most beautiful thing in this universe is not something that Hashem is going to give you. 37:57 The most beautiful thing in this universe is a relationship with the sham. 38:03 So says I have one request. 38:09 One request relationship. That's what I need. 38:15 Because if I have relationship, I have everything. 38:17 Now, relationship doesn't necessarily give you everything you want, but relationship gives you all of the tools you need to lead a successful life. 38:27 Without a relationship, you will crumble in the face of crisis. 38:31 Without a relationship, you will not be able to weather the difficulties of life. 38:35 With a relationship, you will get through anything. 38:39 It doesn't mean you won't be broken, bruised, and battered, but you'll get through everything. 38:43 And therefore the whole essence of the part part of the major is relationship. 38:48 How many of us could actually say that we have a true relationship with and relationship means so much more than just ding ding is something a Jew has to do. 38:57 Okay. And relationship means so much more than just asking Hashem for stuff. 39:02 It means a sense of connection. 39:03 It's the same way, right? 39:04 You know, sometimes people, you ever have a friend? 39:08 You ever have a friend and all that friend does is ask you for stuff or ask you to do stuff and it's always another favor, another favor, another favor. 39:15 After a certain point in time, how do you feel about that friendship? 39:19 You're not my friend. 39:21 You're not my friend. 39:21 You need stuff and I happen to be a nice person, so I'm happy to do it and I'll continue to do it. 39:26 But we're not really friends. 39:27 This is a transactional relationship. 39:29 You give I You need something, I give it to you. 39:31 That's what this is. 39:33 A friendship. A friendship in whatever context a relationship means, right? 39:37 It's out there. How do you know if someone is a true friend? 39:42 And by the way, this is true in any whether it's like friends, whether it's marriage. 39:46 What's the metric? What's the metric? 39:48 How do you know if you have a real friendship? 39:52 >> You give more than you get. 39:54 That's good. That's true. 39:56 But I think that one of the things that is the true hallmark of of a real friendship is the ability to just be with that person. 40:06 We just enjoy being in each other's presence. 40:09 That's it. That's it. 40:10 Right. Just like what's what's what's a beautiful and loving marriage when a husband and wife can just sit next to each other. 40:16 We we don't have to talk about stuff. 40:19 I mean, it's good to talk about stuff also, right? 40:21 But but that but that that that's not everything. 40:23 It doesn't always have to be what do we have to do? 40:25 What do we have to buy? 40:26 Where do we have to go to this? 40:27 Sometimes just the act of being being together being in the same space is so beautiful and so rewarding and so fulfilling is looking for that from us also. 40:40 Could we just be in the same space? 40:42 Let's just be together. 40:43 I'm going to give you whatever you want because who loves us and he wants us to be happy and he wants us to be successful and even if he doesn't deliver what we want on the time frame that we want. 40:53 You know what? You're not God. 40:55 So you think you know what you want when you want it when you need it. 40:57 But you're wrong. If you don't have it says you don't need it yet. 41:00 When you do need it, you will have it. 41:02 It's a hard pill to swallow for different things in life. 41:05 But it's the MS. 41:07 It's the MS. But the only way to get to that level is to be the kind of person who has a relationship with our and that is the entire essence of judgment is a pretext to get our undivided attention. 41:24 Judgment is a pretext to make sure that we are home so that when comes to visit we're not out doing something else because at the end of the day they know what the most incredible thing is you know we ask ourselves what 41:42 can you get for the God who has it all right what does that want more than anything in this world what does he want what does he want he wants us he wants us, right? 41:55 Just just like just like a parent and a child. 41:58 What does a parent want more than anything in this world? 42:01 It's not even for my at least when the children are little. 42:03 It's just I want my child to want to be with me, right? 42:07 That's why what happens when your child makes you something, right? 42:10 Mother's Day, birthday, what happens when your child makes you something, right? 42:12 What what what does every sing right what what does every single mother do? 42:19 Puts it on the fridge. 42:21 Objectively, it is a piece of junk. 42:23 a piece of junk and most probably your kid is a terrible artist, right? 42:27 And looks like mamish like like something's wrong with the way everything that came out, right? 42:31 It's not worth anything. 42:32 Anyone else who would see it would simply say, "Oh, let me just throw that out for you." 42:36 Right? But for you, it's like it's like a Picasso, right? 42:39 For you, it's like a Monae that's hanging on your refrigerator. 42:42 And then again, when it comes time to throw it out or put it away, you're like, "Ah, you're himming and hawing." 42:46 Meanwhile, everything else in the house that belongs to other people, you have no problem throwing out, right? 42:50 But but again, but but but that thing, right? 42:53 that thing that why my child cares about me. 42:58 My child just took took the time to to a certain degree that says I don't even need your davining. 43:06 I don't even need your mitzvah. 43:07 All that daving and all those mitzvah are just there to create connection. 43:12 So just be with me. 43:14 Just be with me. 43:15 You know there are so many beautiful men on rash. 43:18 One of them one of them is one of them is you know we don't take a nap. 43:23 President doesn't take a nap on rash. 43:25 So we're all familiar with this. 43:26 Why? Because what happens if you take a nap on ashana? 43:28 What happens you take a nap? 43:30 >> You're going to have a sleepy year. 43:32 Now come on. Come on. 43:34 Right. Right. Let's let's let's let's obviously unwrap that a little bit. 43:37 First of all, in general in Yiddish, we don't believe like in hokey spoken CBGV stuff, right? 43:41 That if I take a nap on one day of the year, I'm going to have a sleepier. 43:43 The rest of the year I'm up at 5:00 in the morning and one day I take a nap. 43:46 That's the whole year. 43:47 What does it mean? 43:49 When you're with someone who you love, when you're with someone who you love, you don't nod off. 43:57 You just don't. You may go ahead and, you know, close your eyes for a moment, but you're not saying, you know what, I love you so much. 44:03 I'll be back in 4 and 1/2 hours after I finish hibernating on Yed afternoon. 44:07 Right? You don't do that with someone with someone who you love. 44:10 And especially again if it's not someone you're necessarily with all of the time, you want to maximize every single moment. 44:17 Rash is this incredible rendevu with this incredible opportunity just to be together. 44:23 So it's just that how I I don't I don't want to sleep. 44:25 I mean I do want to sleep, but I know that I should want not to sleep because at the end of the day, finally, we're both home at the same time. 44:37 And here in lies the most incredible and beautiful aspect of rashish sh the opportunity to have this time of relationship. 44:47 And the reason I'm sharing this also is because we spend a lot of time in sh a lot of time in and I want to tell you something. 44:54 I say the same thing on that I say by pes right on ped you do not have to read the entire I cannot tell you how many children are scarred from pes sed from pes trauma right leading cause of trauma 45:09 in the Jewish community right why they have to sit there at the table listening to the entire hagada right and this one reads in a monotone this one can't read Hebrew this one doesn't know what they're doing right so they're 45:21 dipping whatever in the karos they have no idea what's going on but no don't leave the We have we have to read the whole thing. 45:26 You don't have to read the whole the is there to say there's something else. 45:30 You don't have to read the entire you don't have to it's okay actually at times to close your and just to be with and just say I'm here. 45:42 I'm here. I'm here. 45:44 I know so many times throughout the year when you showed up at my home or at my heart I wasn't home. 45:51 But today I'm here. 45:54 So let's just be together. 45:56 And just like when you're with someone who you love, you don't have to say anything. 45:59 You don't have to exchange ideas or insights or words. 46:03 You just be. That's part of the beauty of rash sha. 46:08 Just being together reigniting that beautiful relationship. 46:13 We become so focused on the details of yishkite which are indispensably important. 46:19 indispensably important. But we sometimes focus on all the details to the exclusion of the relationship. 46:27 And was saying, I can't wait anymore for you to come home. 46:32 I have to pull you home. 46:33 How does he pull us home? 46:34 How does he grab our attention? 46:36 Judgment. Oh, judgment. Everybody perks up, right? 46:40 Judgment, everybody pays attention. 46:42 Judgment, everyone knows they have to be on their best behavior and they need to show up. 46:46 Says, "I love you. 46:47 Your judgment is going to be great." 46:48 Remember again we have complete right none of us it's interesting right what what's the feeling after what's the feeling after how do we feel about right it's like a high it's like it really is it's like euphoric now one part 47:02 of it might be because the fast because the knows on a very deep level that I'm so confident the coming year is going to be great I'm filled with with confidence and optimism that doesn't mean I'm going to get everything 47:13 I want when I want but I believe that everything is going to be good because wants us to be successful in judgment and the judgment is only an effort to ultimately again bring and re our attention in the essence of 47:25 rash is just spending time with the bono shalola during that time I'll just end off with two last ideas number one what should we do so now we show up and we're here at the relationship and we're here with our 47:37 father and finally again we've rendevu together so what do we do at the time obviously just in being with in and of itself is a beautiful thing but I think that there are two more pieces quick pieces to focus on 47:48 as well. If you take a look if you take a look at number five again. 47:53 So remember the says what's the common denominator between denominator is they were all women with dramatic vision with dramatic vision. 48:10 Right? Each and every one of these women had vision remember again S's not having children. 48:16 What does she say? 48:18 What does she say? 48:21 She says, "You don't think s Why doesn't it's not fair. 48:26 It's not fair. How come I don't have children? 48:28 I followed you to Kanan. 48:30 I did everything that God told me to do. 48:32 I ded. I did. 48:33 I this. I did that. 48:34 I didn't get what Saru would have would have been entitled to be the quintessential bitter person for not getting what she wanted. 48:42 But instead, what did she say? 48:44 I don't have what I want. 48:46 Let's pivot. Let's pivot because there's a bigger plan at play over here. 48:50 She's the one who tells She's the one who tells Aram to take Hagar. 48:55 Aram was not going to take another wife. 48:57 He was not. Arabu said S is my partner and if she's not going to have children, then so be it. 49:02 This will be our life together. 49:04 S was the one who pushed Abrau to take Hagar. 49:07 Visionu makes the ultimate sacrifice for her sister. 49:12 Why vision? She recognizes there are bigger things at play over here than my own needs. 49:20 It is so easy to get caught up in a myopic tunnel vision life where everything is just about me. 49:28 I'm one person. There's a much bigger picture for who's doing all this stuff with my sister. 49:32 There's got to be some level of. 49:34 And by the way, because of vision, what will we have one day because of her vision? 49:40 Msiach. Msiach comes from Yehuda. 49:43 Yehuda the fourth son of Leia the fourth son of Leia we will have messianic redemption because of Raalu's vision understood understood when she too was barren and she asks alien she says give me a son but not a son for 50:00 me if you give me a son he will devote his life to from the time that he was three years old he was not raised by his parents at the age of three he was brought to the Mishkan and raised 50:12 raised by a hakoen in the precincts of the Mishkan. 50:16 A mother gives up the privilege and gift of raising her own child because there's a bigger destiny is about cultivating vision. 50:27 You know that's interesting if you take a look at number six. 50:30 So when he discusses the so it's interesting he say ultimately again so says Hashem afflicted you let you go hungry and he gave you mun he gave you man describes man as an affliction I don't know why why would mun 50:52 be an affliction right m tasted like whatever you want I bet like zero calories no trans fat you know incredible right so So, so mun is man is fantastic. 51:02 Why is m called an affliction in number seven says something amazing? 51:05 Because you know what you needed for man? 51:07 If you wanted the m to taste something, what like something what would you have to do? 51:11 You had to imagine it. 51:14 The entire essence of mun was an exercise in imagination. 51:20 Can you see what is right beyond what is right in front of you? 51:24 Because what did mun look like? 51:26 Mun looked like a white mass. 51:29 I don't know. Doesn't doesn't sound particularly appealing, right? 51:33 But yet, if you were able to conjure up the right thoughts and the right imagery and the right desires, your mun was able to taste like whatever you wanted it to taste like. 51:42 You needed imagination. And Mosher says to this is why the mun was in affliction. 51:47 Why? Because people don't like imagination. 51:51 Why don't we like imagination? 51:52 Because imagination forces us to see beyond our current circumstances. 51:57 Imagination forces us to reckon with the reality that life can be and should be more. 52:02 I don't like imagination. 52:03 Let's just deal with the here and now. 52:04 Let's just focus on what's in front of us and leave that alone. 52:08 Mun was an afflictive experience for because every single day they had to exercise that imagination muscle. 52:18 Rash during that time when we are with that is an opportunity to create a life vision for yourself. 52:26 What do you want to do? 52:28 What do you want to be? 52:29 Who do you want to be? 52:31 What do you want to accomplish? 52:32 Now, at that same time, of course, you can ask Hashem for all the things that you want out of life, but at the same time, be prepared. 52:37 You may or may not get them. 52:39 But whether you get or you don't get the things you want, you still have to have a life vision which propels yourself forward. 52:47 You know what the beauty of rash be rash is that it's such an opportunity for imagination to close your eyes during ding right like I said don't follow along in the m and to imagine for yourself what's the life you 52:59 want for yourself this year what's the attitude what's the personality what's the lifestyle what do you want for you in this year we so often don't do this because if I imagine it then maybe it can happen if it can 53:12 happen then I have to push myself to get there so instead let's not imagine let's just leave things as they are and let's just maintain our regular normal ordinary mediocre life because if I can imagine it that means maybe maybe 53:27 I can bring it to fruition is a day of great imagination and lastly just because of Taiwan I'll just read the last source lastly says this is one of my favorite one of my favorite phrases of all time says says 53:46 you Know sometimes the greatest obstacle to cha is us. 53:50 Greatest obstacle to change is us. 53:51 Like I look at myself as damaged goods. 53:54 I look at myself as compromised. 53:55 I look at myself that at the end of the day there's only so much I could do because look at all of my life mistakes. 54:00 Look what the Reb says. 54:00 Last line of number 10. 54:11 If you believe that you have the power to destroy, believe that you have the power to fix. 54:18 Now, says if you've destroyed yourself through a series of bad decisions and wrong turns in life, okay, that's not good. 54:26 But the same way you destroyed you, you could also rebuild you. 54:30 Whatever you destroy in this world, you always have the ability and the capacity to rebuild it. 54:36 If you believe that you could destroy, believe at least as much that you have the capacity to build. 54:42 And as we stand in just in that relationship with as we stand in the silence with Hashem, so often what stands in our way of personalistic self-actualization of personalistic growth is that deep set that deeply held feeling that I am 54:59 damaged goods that I am beyond repair. 55:04 And Ahmed says it's not true. 55:07 If you have damaged yourself, okay, that's not good. 55:10 But if you had the power, if you're if you're so powerful that you could destroy something, that means that you are just as powerful to be able to rebuild it. 55:19 So if we bring all of this together, it turns out that I think is very different than the way we often imagine it. 55:26 That whereas we often think as Rashan is a day of judgment, it is a day of judgment. 55:30 But it's important to understand as we saw before from the judgment is a pretext. 55:35 The judgment is the way that gets our attention because like who keeps on missing who shows up at our home so often, shows up at our heart so often and we're not home. 55:47 We're out doing different things and is the day where he grabs our attention. 55:52 The performance review. It's judgment day. 55:58 That's why the Mishna is not explicit about judgment. 56:00 It uses this veiled term because the judgment is not really the essence. 56:05 The judgment is the vehicle through which we could finally spend time with because the essence of the day is to reignite the relationship. 56:14 The essence of the day is to be together. 56:17 The essence of the day is to remember we have a father who has never and will never give up on us. 56:23 You know, Yeshal was not a good guy. 56:27 He was not a good guy. 56:28 Look at his descendants, right? 56:30 You don't have descendants like this, like his contemporary descendants, right? 56:35 If you were a total sadic, it doesn't happen. 56:37 Wasn't Remember the day that Ishmael was expelled from the home? 56:39 What caused to expel? 56:42 She saw him committing three a immorality, murder, and a now that is a busy morning, right? 56:51 All one day. Ishmael was compromised on so many levels. 56:55 But a father never stops loving his son. 57:01 Never stops loving us. 57:06 We say, "Don't take away your love from us." 57:09 Says, "Of course, I'll never take my love away from you. 57:11 How could I ever stop loving you? 57:12 You're you. You're my child. 57:14 I'll always love you." 57:16 And is the day just to be with to ignite. 57:19 When we're together and when we're reuniting that relationship, we can focus on two major things. 57:24 Number one, imagination. How do you know if you have a successful rash? 57:29 How do you know? 57:30 How do you know? 57:32 If you emerge in rash sh with a comprehensive life plan, what is my comprehens? 57:38 Which means that on m rash sh the first thing you should do after abdullah is take out a pen and paper or a computer whatever you use and write it down right here is my life plan for 5786. 57:52 Now it doesn't mean it can't change. 57:54 It doesn't mean it can't pivot. 57:55 Of course it can. 57:56 But the aod of is use your imagination. 57:59 You none of us are mediocre. 58:01 None of us are regular. 58:02 None of us are ordinary. 58:04 We have such incredible co-hosts, most of which we have not yet even discovered. 58:08 Rashashana is the time to flex your imagination muscle and to discuss and to think about and to contemplate what I can make out of my life. 58:17 And number two, when we're together with to stop being so down on ourselves and to stop looking at ourselves as broken, as compromised, as damaged goods because if that's how you view yourself, you will get nowhere in life. 58:34 Maybe I have made many poor decisions and that as a result of those decisions, I have broken myself. 58:40 That is possible. Not only possible, it's true. 58:42 It's true. But as Rabman says, if I have the power to destroy, I have the power to rebuild. 58:49 So whatever brokenness I have introduced into myself and into my life, I know that I have the ability to make it right. 58:57 And part of that plan for 5786 is figuring out not only my imagination plan for myself, but how am I going to address the things that are broken inside of me and not just say woe is me that I'm so 59:09 broken, but to figure out what I could do to rebuild that which I have broken inside of myself. 59:15 This is rashashana. This is the great gift. 59:18 This is the incredible opportunity that we have. 59:21 And this rashashana we need all of us. 59:25 We need that relationship more than ever because the world right every time we think and we feel that the world has gone as crazy as it's going to go then something else traumatic and tragic occurs you know ju just to 59:40 understand everybody's obviously focused you know on the horrible assassination of Charlie Kirk but I think even like within our own community we have to remember that two days before that there were six people murdered at a bus stop in remote 59:54 and four soldiers murdered at a base. 59:56 And I was like the the tragedies of the world move so quickly that like we're on to the next thing and like we're we're not even thinking about the fact that there are still 10 families sitting. 1:00:08 There are still the world needs our cha and we need our relationship with our more than ever because there is no way to navigate the tumultuousness of this world without that relationship to reignite the relationship to ultimately again use our 1:00:26 imagination to fix anything that we have broken over the past year and in that we should all be inscribed and sealed in the we should be a yearful with with for us for our families for all of most of all 1:00:45 we should be the tough 5786 should finally bring about the we've waited for for more than 2,000 years the of the of the mikdash the brah of amen
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