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0:00 good perfect thank you all right good evening everyone let us let us begin i want to begin by by thanking our sponsors for tonight's cheer to thank robin schaefer for dedicating the shirt tonight with gratitude to the entire kahila for 0:27 her year of spiritual growth as her avelos winds down looking forward to merits hashem to continue growth in the coming year thank robin robin always sponsors every share that happens so thank you so much for your continued generosity and sponsorship 0:41 to thank howie and batsheva friedman for their sponsorship of tonight's year and to thank our tamitore sponsors for the month of tishrei shendian avraham kelman for dedicating all of the shooting this month in memory of their beloved parents jack bennett 0:56 for dedicating all the sherman this month in memory of givati brigade first sergeant nikolai rappaport and dr linda weinberg for dedicating all the shoe room this month in loving memory of her husband of 53 years dr paul weinberg parrots moshe 1:09 and avraham david we hope that in all of the nishamas will have in aliya and their families in the year to come um just a few other thank yous i want to thank our executive director mr shani topper for always 1:25 doing such a wonderful wonderful job and coordinating all of the marketing and setting up everything and uh this is kind of a hectic season forget about for rabbis but for executive directors it's uh quite challenging and so shiny on behalf 1:40 of the entire kihilo thank you i also want to thank our office manager mrs michael weisberg and as much as the uh as as much as the house in kala we're hoping to be somewhere else now i'm not going to 1:53 say that we're not happy that you're here wherever wherever your married journeys are supposed to take him you should get there but we're certainly happy to have you here for as long as we can i also want to thank it's 2:05 very special i want to thank mrs esther reznick esther is signing the shirt tonight and esther has been signing our shiurim i think now for a while and it's incredibly special because what esther is able to do is bring the 2:20 beautiful torah of akihila to the entire deaf community and tonight i think this is a first tonight actually uh you can watch it online afterwards hester's signing is actually on the bottom square in the actual video so now you know 2:36 that when people want to you know the beautiful part of torah should be accessible to every jew wherever they are and the very special thank you to esther and welcome to our brothers and sisters in the deaf community who are 2:47 joining us on youtube and on zoom tonight it's incredibly special to allow our torah to be part of all of israel hashem the torah should always be the great kawaka there should always be the gloom that brings our people together 3:01 so tonight i'd like to focus a little bit of time on an interesting topic in fact you know the the problem is that uh shani topper is very organized so she asks me for titles of she were in like three 3:13 months in advance i'm preparing for kenneth and she's asking me about what are we doing for yami no right so often what that requires me to do is make something up right and then okay this is what we'll do and 3:23 of course inevitably what always happens is i end up choosing something different because shiurim kind of are based on what you're feeling and how you're feeling and what's happening in the world around you so i had a little bit of 3:37 a shift in tonight's topic and i wanted to share with you something that i found personally very striking and i hope that you will as well we're going to begin tonight's journey merits hashem with an incredible mishna in miseka suma 3:50 to give you a little bit of background the avodah on yom kippur was incredibly unique the general sacrificial service on yom kippur was unique because throughout the rest of the year when you came to the base of mikdash so we 4:02 knew that we know that kohanim carbonic service ritual service has to be done through kohana kohanam cannot work in the bay samik dash what was unique about yom kippur and more unique than any other day throughout the entire year was 4:16 the idea that the avodah the sacrificial service could only be done by the kohingol so this was a dramatic thing because remember again there were 24 we'll call it shifts of kohanim so each coin only got to work in the 4:31 basement approximately two weeks a year and even those two weeks that your shift was on call you didn't work the entire time because each each mishma each shift was made up of multiple batteavos multiple families so every coin really got 4:47 very little time in the bais amiktas so the notion that on yom kippur the holiest day of the year all of the abode the everything done in the middle when i say everything everything literally means everything could only be done 5:00 by the cohen godzilla a regular cohen could not do anything this was obviously an incredible laborious day for the coin god meaning from morning to evening he was working multiple immersions in the mikvah multiple changes of clothing everything had to 5:15 be done by the coin goddamn and perhaps one of the most unique services of the day was the avodah of the kitauris the burning of the incense because we know again that the mishnah tells us that the incense was burned 5:29 inside of the kodesh darshan inside of the holy of holies it was the one time of year that any human being walked into the holy of holies the koda shakodashim was on yom kippur and even on yokir you couldn't just 5:42 go in you were only able to go in for a very specific service of the kitauras so the mishna here is describing the torah service that's not going to be our topic but suffice it to say it was a fascinating 5:54 service the reason it was fascinating is because everything is choreographed right in general by the way just as an aside it's fascinating to note that everything in the bassam mikdash is choreographed there's no such thing as spontaneity in the mikdash 6:12 everything is choreographed in fact what happens if you decide to do something spontaneous in the bass amitosh it's pretty much the last time you do anything right because that that's there's no spontaneity which in and of itself is an incredible 6:26 lesson which is that in life if you want to accomplish spiritually great things you must have a plan there is no such thing as living life successfully by the seat of your pants there's no such thing as going with the 6:43 flow you can go with the flow you can definitely do that many people do and where do you end up wherever the flow takes you is where you end up but generally it's not in a place of your decision the 6:53 idea that everything in the mikdash was so carefully choreographed was there to teach us a dramatic life lesson you want god in your life you want rookness you want spiritual accomplishment devise a plan and a detailed plan life doesn't always 7:10 follow that plan that's fine sometimes you have to pivot but you still have to start out with a plan in any event cohen godzilla goes into the same dash goes excuse me to the collection the holy of holies and he 7:19 goes holding kitaurus so again very quickly this was a little bit of an acrobatic feat because what was happening over here is the coin godzilla had to take what's called the magta of fire pan in that fire pan were coals 7:31 he would hold the fire pan under one arm and in two hands he would have the incense cupped in his hands you were unable to spill one little bit of incense he would come into the kodi shakudashim holy of holies 7:45 put the fire pan down on the two poles of the ark of the oron and then he would have to very carefully go ahead and empty the contents of his hands onto the coals in the magda it would fill the 7:59 entire coldest collection the holy of holies with smoke and the koi ingot was the only person not only the only person in the holy of holies but the only person in the mikdash no one else was permitted to be inside 8:13 the primary temple building when the cohen goddard was doing his avodah incredible but that's not what i want to focus on if you look at number one look at the second line the mission and now begins right after the period 8:28 so there's so much fascinating information that we're not going to get into in the second temple there were two curtains between what we call the kodesh and the koda shakardashim the front part of the base amiktas and the holy of 8:39 holies the outer curtain was pinned up on the left side so the coin would enter in through the left he'd walk across the length of the curtains the inner curtain was pinned up on the right side and on the right 8:52 side he would enter in to the holy of holies when coming out he would walk out backwards he would walk out backwards and what did he do when he walked out um he would pray a short prayer the besakitson now 9:09 could either mean in between the two curtains or it could mean outside of the curtains in the primary base building so why was it why was it a short prayer it was only i'm sorry why was it a short prayer 9:21 because he would not prolong the prayer why shalom you have to understand something no one else is in the base hamikdash when the goddess goes in no one else is in the building which means that from the time he enters 9:33 until the time he comes out no one knows what on a very simple if he survived remember again especially during the second temple era where often the office of the high priest of the kunigdollah was sold to the highest bidder 9:47 kohanim ghidolim often perished on yom kippur because they would enter into the holy of holies they were not fit for that and they never came back in fact during the second temple era they devised the practice of tying a rope 9:59 around the kohingol because in the event that he died in the holy of holies no one could get the body this way they could drag him out so he would only go ahead and dive in a very short prayer in 10:11 order not to worry anyone order not to worry anyone what's missing from the mishnah what's missing number one what did he pray right isn't it what was the prayer what was the prayer of the koh in goggle by the way 10:28 i'll just point out already in the mishnah there's an incredible lesson which is what what it was so it's interesting it's young kipper he's the coin god i don't know i would say let him dive in for as long as 10:39 he wants right so what do you see from here even when building your personal piety you must be ever conscious of the feelings of the other too many times we think that the pursuit of luchnius the pursuit of religiosity of 10:56 piety of relationship with god is a license to trample on the feelings and dignity of the other and there could be nothing further from the truth if i build my personal piety on someone else's back you know what i call the 11:11 sparrow who says to that no thank you no thank you god is not interested in that so the coingold could have sat there dabbing the whole day the problem is what everyone was sittering outside everybody was worried about what's going 11:22 on over here you can't sit in darwin you can't sit in darwin when someone's waiting for you outside your own person this is so incredibly important because sometimes we make this mistake where we think as long as i'm engaged in 11:35 the pursuit of a noble spiritual goal how i make other people feel or the impact of my actions on someone else don't matter that much and it's not true life is a balance you have to build your relationship with hashem 11:52 at every moment at every juncture but you must be ever cognizant of the impact of your actions on other people's feelings no matter what no matter how holy no matter how pious no matter how intense your particular personal journey may 12:07 be but look at number two so the gemara is intrigued by this because the gemara says um so the gemara says what did he do right isn't this the million dollar question what was the calling god davening for second line 12:27 here's what he dives for number one we're going to see all together there are four parts to the coin goggles prayer there's actually more but we'll start with four number one did i underline this on your sheets number one it 12:46 should be a rainy year should be a rainy year there should be a lot of rain it actually means it should be rainy and it should be humid the gemara says like like baltimore right there i think martin says why 12:56 do you need both we're not getting into that for our purposes tonight it means it should be a rainy year okay number two if you'll go to the next second second underlying line rulership which sounds like it's referring to monarchy 13:11 should not leave the tribe of yehuda remember again we learned in parishes gives the bronchos to his children belongs to the tribe of yehuda rulership should not leave yehuda that's number two number three you the jewish people should not have 13:38 to rely on each other for financial support sure enough each other for financial support and number four villa tikkanese god please do not accept the prayers of the travelers prayers of the travelers now i'm going to ask you honestly is 13:59 this what you expected for the prayer of the queen alden young keeper no right what's missing from here what's missing so something about life like zach you know something like that something regarding absolution from sin something about general forgiveness right 14:19 isn't that the theme of the day yom kippur is a day of slich of the chaparral it's a day of forgiveness and atonement and yet there's absolutely no mention there's absolutely no mention of any of the primary themes of yom 14:37 kippur in the thila of the kohing not only that but when you look at some of these things it sounds like there's strange things to dive in for on yom kippur important we'll discuss the importance but why i'm kipper so 14:50 the truth is you have to understand something you could tell a lot about a person by what they dobbing for right there are some people that dive in for new kitchens and there are some people that have been for health 15:04 and there are some people that dive in for shidduchim and there are some people who dive in to do well on a test and there are some people and again by the way all legitimate fellows all legitimate fellows but you 15:15 could tell a lot about what's up what's the hierarchy of importance for a person for what they dive in for this was a choreographed prayer this was not happenstance it's not the shot that the coin goggle is standing there in 15:30 between the two curtains it's like hey what should i dive in for and these are the first four things that pop into his mind he dabbing for these things because he understood that they were of primary importance for cloud israel 15:41 so the shiloh we're going to what we're going to try to explore tonight is why did they coincide for these things and what's the message for us so let's go through them one by one prayer number one let it be 15:52 a rainy year teaches us something incredibly important rain represents what good don't don't give me torah or said let's not be so frugal right rain represents parnosa rain represents paranosa rain represents gas mius it represents materialism the first thing the 16:15 coin gobbled davens for on yom kippur for clavissro is material blessing because the coengodial knows if there's no gasmus there's no luchnius if you don't have your material needs met you cannot be a spiritual person and this is so incredibly 16:37 important because you know when we say the word gashmius like we're accustomed to thinking you so say like ugh like it's something bad right like it's a bad thing now gashmi is over indulgence in the material world making the material 16:52 world the primary focus of your life is sinful is absolutely sinful and a total abdication of personalistic responsibility but at the end of the day virtually all people need to have some degree of physical material comfort in order to be 17:13 able to focus on their spirituality and i think this is interesting because i think in contemporary society especially in segments of our society this lesson has been lost there's like this thought that if you need gashmias there's something wrong with 17:28 you you shouldn't need gashmias you should just have luckness there are there people who don't need gas miles and just need rochnias absolutely absolutely there are some people like that there are school there are individuals again who do not need 17:42 any of the comforts of this world in order to become spiritually connected people but ninety-nine percent of human beings are not like that most of us need some level of physical material security in order to be able to connect with 17:58 that code if i don't know if i could pay my bills it's very hard to connect with if i don't know how the mortgage is getting paid and it's very difficult to work on my spiritual identity when i don't know 18:11 that my physicality is safeguarded so the first thing the coin gobble davens for is gashmills let there be rain because if there's rain if there's paranosal then claudius will have the bandwidth to focus on other things you know you look 18:30 at the beginning of paragraph and the torah says if you walk in my ways mr psytish mariki my midsole who outlines a whole series of material blessings and the arakai makhadesh says i don't understand we're talking about observing mitzvos if 18:47 you're talking about observing missiles why is the reward something material observe them observe the missiles and you'll get sheep and you'll get cattle and you'll get wheat why why is that the reward arkham says something amazing it's not a reward 18:59 the reward for misos is nothing material what kadash baruch who is saying is if you make proper spiritual decisions in life i'll give you material security so you could continue to serve me you see in the world view of the 19:14 jew materialism gosh is not an ends that's where people make a mistake it's not an ends the goal is not to purchase the goal is not to buy the goal is not to own the goal is to have a degree 19:29 of security in life so that i could focus on my spiritual pursuits so the first thing the coin goggle says is let's take care of kalali saul's paranosa because if there is physical security then ultimately against spiritual security could come 19:45 afterwards what's number two calling other goes on he says let monarchy remain with yehuda so of course when we speak now what's interesting is okay you could say maybe this is referring to the monarchy of yehuda very interesting so the 20:02 monarchy of yehuda here's what's fascinating to note was there jewish autonomy during the second temple era for the most part not right you had a couple of hundred years after the chanukah story where the khashoggi had taken control but even 20:16 then it wasn't so simple because remember again the khashoggi they also became the kings it was a whole discussion whether or not that was the right thing to do there was a couple of hundred years a few centuries of jewish autonomy 20:27 but even that quickly disintegrated so what is the coin god happening over here when he speaks about let the monarchy not leave yehuda so perhaps what the quran god is really daviding for here is not the yehudah monarchy he's diving 20:40 from a shia he's diving for mashiach let this be a year not only where mashiach comes but where people remain messianically conscious now what does that mean what does that mean to remain messianically conscious so the rama writes about this 20:58 everyone the ramaman says the one of the you gimli karyamuna one of the 13 principles of faith is to believe in mashiach and to go ahead and wait for him right and i actively wait with him every single day i 21:10 want to tell you many many many disagree with that idea of the rambam where'd you get that from right who says okay maybe there's obligation to believe in mashiach who says there's an obligation to wait for him every day to 21:22 actively pine for him yet the coin god says keep the messianic dream alive now what does the messianic dream have to do with yom kippur let me ask you this what's going to happen when mushiach comes what's going to happen 21:40 right no yom kippur is a good try there's going to be a young keeper right they'll always be a young kipper bar hashem we want yum kipper that's the one that i don't want to tish above but i definitely always 21:48 wanted yom kippur what's kappa mushy comes correct answer we don't know we don't know we don't know what's going on but there's one thing i do know for sure which is what the world is going to be different how it's 22:01 going to be different what that difference is going to look like remember again if you if you if you think about the theology surrounding mashiach there is such a spectrum of opinions there are opinions that hold olam kim and hago 22:15 noheg the world is going to function as it does right now it's the same exact world just the except the difference will be everyone will believe in akkad sparrow who and everyone will recognize the jewish people's right territory those are 22:30 not two small things those are pretty significant and hopefully they'll also be vouchers for yeshiva education right but it's alright but otherwise everything else goes ahead and remains the same versus you have another opinion that says everything is going to 22:41 be different you're going to plant wheat and loaves of bread are going to come out of the ground a totally supernatural world is going to spring up around us what's the common denominator between all of those opinions common denominator the 22:56 world is going to change that's what's going to happen the world is going to change let me make locus is what the extent of that change is dramatic change nuance change observable change theological change physical change but everyone agrees that the 23:10 world is going to change do you know why we focus so much on the coming of mashiach people think it's just a bad thing you know khabad didn't invent mashiach right he was here before right the concept was before the 23:24 rabbi also why is there such a focus on because the concept of mashiach reminds us that change is possible you see if i believe in meshiach what that really means is i believe that the world is going to change and 23:42 if i believe that the world is going to change what if the whole world if the entire universe if mankind could change what else could change me me do you know what the greatest obstacle to chuva is the greatest obstacle 23:58 to chuva is me like most things in life i am my greatest obstacle it's not that my mother didn't love me enough she's probably watching she loved me plenty i just want to mention right it's not that my father didn't 24:12 pay enough attention to me certainly did or that my teacher wasn't this or that my spouse isn't that or my kids don't do this or my friends aren't this enough enough enough enough enough enough at the end of the day 24:23 the buck of my life stops with me and if things don't happen you're right i can't control a whole variety of circumstances around me i can't control how people treat me i can't control how people behave towards me i can't 24:36 control that people talk to me i can't control circumstances that happen to me but i control me no one is the bala bus on me except me i control me and we sometimes forget that we have to stop making excuses 24:52 and start taking ownership if the world could change when shia comes if the universe could change i could change also when the coin got all davins do not let the scepter of rulership depart from the sheba of yehuda what he's 25:06 saying is do not let the messianic dream leave the jewish people not only because you want everyone to believe in shia because what mushiach represents is the possibility of change and the greatest power we possess is the power of change 25:26 that i can remake myself in one moment you know this is an incredible gemara the gemara says that if a man goes over to a woman and he says marry me on the condition that i am an absolute righteous man i 25:46 think it's a great pickup line just in general right right marry me on the condition that i'm an absolutely righteous man what's that it is a valid production of valid marriage affilo russia gomer even if the guy is in absolute 26:05 russia how could that be if he's an absolute russia is an absolute russia why the gemara says shema here herbert because maybe he had thoughts of shuba thoughts of triva fantastic i have thoughts each of every day right they come 26:20 in they go out right then they come back circle back go out even thoughts of trouba change you if thoughts of chiva change you that imagine what dynamic life activity does as well when the coin god aldavins do not let 26:36 the people forget about mashiach what he says is do not let the people forget about the power and the possibility of change part three says the gemara now this is very interesting the gemara says do not let the jewish people 26:57 be dependent on one another so of course when you read the words the words once again seem to be referring to financial dependence you know the gemara you know what the gemara says about people who rely on gifts or about 27:09 gifts in general the gemara says if you despise gifts you live a long life now what's that good good iris nice to see you all right sorry so so what right what what if you despise gifts you live a long 27:26 life what what does that mean because again everybody likes getting gifts who doesn't like getting a gift what it means is being reliant on gifts what ghazal we're saying is the most important thing in life is stand on your own 27:41 two feet do not be dependent on other people now of course are there times in our life where we have to be dependent on others of course and are the times where we have to be reliant yes and the hope 27:53 is that just as we support others others will support us but at the end of the day the goal in life is to be independent the goal in life is to be self-sufficient but this is not just true on a 28:05 financial level and a financial level is true also to have your own financial independence to be able to make your own decisions and to not have any strings puppet strings attached that someone else is pulling that's always the best way 28:17 to live in life but it's not just the din and finances what the coin odo was also saying is let the people live independent lives what does this mean too often in life we outsource our success meaning what you hear 28:31 this all the time you know what i really was going to accomplish x you know why it didn't happen i'll tell you why rahul she didn't come through the way she was supposed to and leon you should have seen the 28:43 way she spoke to me the other day and avram i give out the way he behaves and i have a whole list of people who did not do their part and therefore i did not accomplish it's a cop-out people never 28:56 do their part i hate to say that people rarely live up to expectations sometimes that's because you said expectations too high or sometimes just because people are people and they just fail that's the way it works don't outsource your success 29:13 do not put the keys of your life happiness or life fulfillment in the hands of someone else the buck of your life stops with you you want to be happy and this is true and i have to tell you this 29:27 i think is probably one of the most important you sodos foundational pillars of life if you want to be happy your husband's not going to make you happy i mean hopefully he'll make you happy i'm saying since i died but your 29:39 husband's not responsible for your happiness your kids aren't responsible for your happiness your parents aren't responsible for your happiness your friends aren't responsible for your happiness there is only one person in life who is responsible for your happiness and that 29:52 is you and you make a decision every single day about the lens through which you want to see the world and the lens through which you want to see your circumstances your success or your failures in life are yours and 30:04 yours alone again do things happen around me that i cannot control every day and sometimes those things that happen are quite dramatic and sometimes traumatic but how i allow them to impact me how i allow them to shape me how 30:23 i allow them to write my life narrative is up to me that's my decision below you am ho you sold sweetheart says don't let the people be financially reliant on one another but it's not just financial reliance to be honest 30:42 it's gonna sound a little bit strong don't rely on anyone for anything i know that sounds like a very strong statement and i'm not like a bitter person you can ask my wife and my daughter are both here i don't 30:55 think i'm a better person right but at the end of the day it's the best approach to life because the moment that other people become responsible for halakhim in your life is the moment that you've outsourced your success to other 31:08 people you're now a dependent you're now a dependent you're now a reliant you are now hinged you're tethered to someone else and the only way i could be happy and the only way i could accomplish is if someone else does 31:23 their part and that's the worst way to live because then i'm told that i'm holy and fully dependent on someone else and who would ever want to stake their life happiness and fulfillment on someone else doing or not doing something 31:44 says the coin goddess may khalisov find the strength to be independent people to recognize they hold the reins of life the keys are in their hands you can't control what's swirling about around you but what you do with it is 32:04 absolutely holy and fully up to you and lastly the guimar says this is very beautiful that the gemara says and do not let the prayers of the travelers quango says don't let don't listen to the prayers of the travelers which 32:22 in general sounds interesting that the queen godzilla would be diving into hashem not to listen to someone's prayers so who are the travelers we're referring to over here this refers to the pilgrims to the ole regal who are traveling home 32:35 after success so think about this in just a moment imagine you're traveling home with your family after sukkis you're leaving urushalayim right you're ola reggio you're leaving you live in the golan you live up north right so what happens you 32:50 you have all the drink boxes and all the snack bags and you've mapped out every bathroom between now and the north of veritas so alright so you're getting ready if there's one thing you're davening for it's what no rain no 33:01 rain there's only one problem when does the rainy season start narration sukis the truth is it really starts on sukis we just delay officially praying for rain until the end of the yamtiv because we don't want to be washed out 33:13 to the midst of sukkah so the crying goddess says his last feeling please do not listen to the prayers of the travelers because the travelers are going to dive into you not to bring the rain barracuda spartacus please do not 33:28 listen to their prayers and bring the reigns right after sukis a very dramatic fila two incredible lessons first of all that the needs of the collective outweigh the needs of the individuals and this is incredibly important because you know society 33:46 often teaches us that everyone is right everyone is right right everyone has an opinion and every opinion is valid and everyone is right it's not true i mean it's true everyone has an opinion that's absolutely true but not every opinion 34:00 is correct and not every opinion works and not every opinion could be counted towards the collective decision making of a community or other people it's just the way that it works so it's true there are some people are inconvenienced by 34:13 rain absolutely and significantly inconvenienced but claudia eritse still needs the rain and so if the few have to be inconvenienced for the needs and the benefit of the many so be it there's never any approach communally or cloud wise that 34:32 works for everyone that's just the way it is in life so the only way you can run a people the only way you can run a community the only way you can run a shul is you try to find what 34:45 works for the majority and hope that the minority understands the ability to cater to every whim and every opinion it just doesn't work it's just not it would be wonderful if we could if everyone kaiser kashmir could bring rain for 34:59 you when you need it to rain for me when i need it then you shouldn't get wet when you don't want to get wet and i'll stay dry when i want to stay dry that'd be fantastic except the world doesn't 35:06 work that way but there's a deeper lesson as well which is the incredible and profound power of prayer you see we do a lot of davening and the problem sometimes with doing a lot of davening is like anything that you 35:20 do very often sometimes it loses its oomph you know that in yeshivas do you know what they call it when let's see you have a lot of material to cover and not a lot of times you have to go through 35:33 it quick you know what they call it in yeshiva daven it up daven it up that's the terminology that's used when you just want to go through something really quickly daven it up dabbing it up because sometimes that's what we 35:47 do we daven it up we dabbing it up and again i want to point out we dabbing frequently and that's why part of tefilo is just establishing consistency even if it's not always something meaningful but do we recognize the power 36:01 of prayer and the power of simple dialogical connection with the ribono shalolum do we recognize that ability not to die from a sin you understand the purest davening is not davening you do from a siddhar that's not that it's not 36:19 dominating you do from a master it's different you do from your heart those are the most beautiful fearless you see we live in such a different age there's many wonderful young women here today so they won't even know today everyone 36:30 is so educated bara hashem so like you know salvation said if you ask a woman why do you like shabbos candles so you ask any girl who went through besiacov and seminary why are they chaby skills ah shalom bayes why 36:42 two candles and one friend of zucker one for summer you ask a woman now i think you have to go back two generations that's going two generations ago why do you like chavez candles and the answer is because my mother 36:53 did it so you'll see who's on a higher level who's on a higher level well knowledge is always powerful but there is something so profoundly beautiful and what rabbi salvation called the memetic tradition why do i do it because my mother 37:09 did it well do you know why your mother did it did it it doesn't matter truth is it doesn't really matter what my mother did it she did it because she saw her mother who saw her mother so her mother 37:19 zakhar sharma shalom is none of that really ever came into the equation it's just ultimately again what a jewish woman does and tefillah used to be this way as well why does a judahvan why does a judahvan because of judahvans 37:33 how else are you supposed to talk to akhadeshwara i remember that many years ago that uh my family had given my my grandmother zachonov-raja a leather-bound sitter and my grandmother was a very holy woman survivor of auschwitz and i remember 37:49 she looked at this sitter was a very beautiful sitter and she said to us thank you so much for this beautiful gift but she said i just want to tell you i don't dive in from here she pointed to the 38:02 sitter i dabbing from here and that was one of the most striking and dramatic moments i'll ever remember i don't have him from here she happened from there she's not from the center also because where does people come from doesn't 38:16 come from a book tfilo doesn't come from pages it's fila comes from your heart and we forget that sometimes the siddhar and the maxer are only there to facilitate real honest open dialogue with that kadushparahu a person could read the 38:34 city or cover to cover to read the master cover to cover and remain totally and fully and wholly unmoved because that's not the goal it's not a novel it's not there to get covered what's gonna happen at the end right 38:46 you know what's gonna happen the same thing that's happened there for the last 2000 years nothing's changed right it's the same story it's the same filos the goal is that that structure should spark spontaneous dialogue what's the power of spontaneous dialogue 39:02 well apparently it's so powerful at the coin goggle anyone kipper in the holy of holies has to tell the ribano show on the master of the universe please that guy high mianko when he's taking home his family after after yomtiv 39:16 and he's dreading the car trip together with everybody right he could hear the whining already starting even before they pulled out he's going to dive into you not to bring rain don't listen to him khai nyanko for something that he 39:32 really needs he's going to dive in with all of his heart and when a jew dives with his or her full heart there is no telling what they can accomplish it doesn't mean you always get what you dive in for 39:46 because what we want is not always what we need and what we want is not always what we should have and what we think is good for us is very often not the right thing for us but when a jew 39:59 davens with a complete heart when a jew dives with a sincere heart those fellows move the heavens those filos have the ability literally to control the rainfall those filos literally have a dramatic impact upon the entire world so the coin 40:19 guddle in this fila in the code shackadoshim teaches us four dramatic life lessons and remember like we said before you could tell a lot about a person by what he's dabbing for the coin god is diving on behalf of claude 40:31 israel and he teaches us four dramatic life lessons that are here to shape our year to come number one take care of your gashmias make sure you are fiscally and materially responsible make sure that you have what you need you 40:45 don't have to be wealthy you don't even have to be comfortable just make sure you're doing what you need to do in order to secure your material needs because it is only if your gas mius is in place then ultimately 40:57 you stand the fighting chance of securing proper neos number two remember that change is possible keep believing in mashiach represents change and if the universe could change and if humanity could change then imagine what i could do as well number 41:16 three do not be dependent on another person do not be financially dependent but more important than that do not make your life success dependent on what someone else will or will not do the reigns of your life rest with you 41:34 the keys of your life's success rest with you of course that is all but just that goes without saying but at the end of the day do not outsource your happiness do not outsource your success to anyone else and number 41:46 three number four sorry number four remember the power of pure petitional dialogue you know tifila is one of those things says that a person should spend at least an hour a day in his bodhidos spodados means just being alone with 42:05 akradushbarachu and talking to god talking to god i've often felt we would be in good shape if when we actually die when we spoke to god think about taking an actual hour right but rabbi nachman says there's a power of 42:18 just talking to hashem just talking to the ribbon that's that's all not not on chakras just that just talking not a safer talent just talking to our colleagues the power of fellow we have not necessarily to get what you want 42:38 but to become a better person to become connected to become holier the power of dialogue that each of us possess but i'll share with you something interesting there are two more versions of the tv of the coin goddamn the russian 42:55 jerusalem talmud has a totally different version of the prayer and in fact if you look at number three you'll notice over here this is actually from musa anyam kippur so you'll see this this year you'll appreciate it even more right 43:10 before you know there's a beautiful section in the hazardous and the repetition of marek how different different kihilo sing it to different tombs but it's a very beautiful responsive fila where there's a description and then maricoin afterwards right before that 43:24 section the master in mussof contains the tfila of the coingodo and if you notice by the way number three i'm not going to go through all of it now but if you notice in number three this is the whole fila 43:37 much longer than what we saw number two right number two the two other coin goggles four phrases four phrases if you look at number three it's much much longer much longer so you're looking on your own i want to draw 43:48 your attention to two pieces of this prolonged prayer if you take a look i underlined them they going he says should be a year where no woman miscarries no woman miscarries okay and then he goes on he's look at the 44:10 last part it's iv and for the people who lived in the sharon the sharon area he would say for the people of the sharon area their homes should not become their graves very strange now the truth is if you go 44:33 through the rest of the tv it's actually interesting the rest of the tv actually really just expands on what the and what the bhavli said but those two lines number one a woman should not miscarriage lo tapil isha's pre-bitna and 44:47 as well as that the people of sharon their home should not become their graves that's not mentioned anywhere in the beverly so what is that so let's work backwards if you take a look at number four the gemara says the 44:59 usham jerusalem talmud speaks about the anshe hasharah so apparently the sharon area was wetlands was wetlands what happens when you build on wetlands structures sink so in sharon it was known that you would have to rebuild your home usually twice 45:21 every seven years so the only people who were poor used to used to live there and unfortunately what would happen is sometimes the structures would collapse and people rahman allah would be stuck in those structures and we perish in those 45:34 structures hashem it should be that the people of sharon their homes should not be their graves should not be their graves but it's strange because if the coin got those going to start dabbing into akushbaraku to prevent calamities there are 45:51 so unfortunately there are so many calamities and there are so many difficult situations why is this one singled out and this farm hasidic literature explains something so beautiful you see a bias is not only a home watch a bias is 46:06 a home but what does your home right what is a home a home is a structure right and within that structure all of your activities of daily living are there right everything you need so to speak for your life is 46:19 in that home so this is understood that a bias represents a mess do not let your life framework become your grave meaning what you know what the interesting part about a grave is no one ever says you know i think 46:48 i'd like to build out my grave a little bit i think i'd like to put on an addition i think i mean i like a little bit more room it's getting a little bit too crowded right that never happens the 46:58 grave it is what it is the structure it is what it is the hole in the ground it is what it is it doesn't change and sometimes people live that way as well people create their bias they create their home 47:13 they create their structure this is who i am you ever have a conversation with someone where you're trying to speak about something or maybe something they did and often the response is well this is who i am as if this 47:25 is who i am is a legitimate response to a critique or to something i've done wrong there's no such thing as this is who i am the true phrase is this is who i choose to be you have a short 47:39 fuse you have a temper it's not this is who you are you may have a natural proclivity or innate inclination to be that way but you choose to perpetuate that shiloh we all have button we all construct frameworks of life 47:55 but you know what the most important thing in life is is to be ready to either expand your framework or sometimes demolish your framework because you know what we don't realize is that sometimes sometimes the framework that worked for you 48:12 earlier on in life does not work as you get older i remember my wife and i was reminisce when we first got married i was still learning in kovalev and we lived in an apartment it was horrible it was horrible 48:27 now of course we were blissful newlyweds everything was fantastic it was beautiful but like i think back about that sometimes because i remember the first time our parents came to see it and i could tell my in-laws spoke their mind 48:40 but my parents right i could just tell on their face they they were like my mother turned white like they they just they just could not believe it and it's just because i think back to it i'm like wow how 48:52 did how it really was like it was objectively it needed a reflection i'll say it like that right but here's what's amazing it worked it worked for them it worked for them what would it work for now no on a 49:07 space level it wouldn't work for now on an accessory level it wouldn't would have worked so we know that right people start out in an apartment or you get a starter home and then you go here or then you go 49:17 there we know it in the world of physical real estate but we forget that the same rule applies in the world of emotional real estate as well and sometimes what we do is we build a personalistic construct this is who 49:33 i am and sometimes i built it when i was 20. 49:37 and it might have been good when i was 20. 49:39 but more often than not the person you built the structure you built when you were 20 doesn't work when you were 30 and this construct you built when you were 40 doesn't work when you're 60. 49:52 every stage of life needs a different personalistic structure and the greatest challenge we run into in life is when we allow our personalistic home to become our grave we refuse to evolve we refuse to change we refuse to realize that 50:15 what worked doesn't necessarily you ever around people who always make the same jokes the same jokes right and they laugh at it and you're like really really you've been telling me this joke for 20 years and it's like this there's 50:32 nothing new you can't google something new you know i'm coming over you can't get a little bit new material something and to certainly sometimes it's cute but sometimes it's just often like grates on you like what are you doing what 50:42 are you doing what why why why why wha wha or haven't we progressed at all so that's annoying but it doesn't really have an impact but sometimes we do the same thing with ourselves this is who i am this is 50:53 who i am this is who i've been for the last number of years fantastic are you still living in your starter apartment right you're still going ahead and living where how you were when you were young when you were a 51:03 teenager when you were single when you were first married are you still living that way no of course everything evolves except me except me my housing evolves my gashmias evolves but at the same time i'm unwilling to revisit who and 51:18 what i am the queen goddal davins he uses the anshe hashara as an example because their homes used to collapse you know what happens when your home collapses whatever your home collapses you have no choice but what but to rebuild 51:32 you see here's the interesting part about life at some point in time your house will collapse because it happens to everyone not our physical homes right but it happens at some point in time our personalistic structures collapse it happens to 51:47 everyone either it happens because of some type of dramatic life circumstance or it happens because of some bad decision i made or different decision that i made or something else that comes up the structures we build always come down and 52:00 so the question if we often have to make is do i want to wait to build the proper structure until life brings my structure down or do i want to be proactive and recognize i've outgrown this personality i've outgrown this 52:18 lifestyle i've outgrown these behaviors i've outgrown this outlook i've outgrown this needle i've outgrown this this position it's not good for me anymore it's not healthy for me anymore i but this is who i am no this is who you 52:40 choose to be but if you want to remake your house you have the ability to do so don't wait until your house becomes your grave don't wait until everything crumbles down and you have no choice but to rebuild but be 52:54 proactive and i think all of us are in this dynamic we settle into a personality we settle into a certain set of medos we settle into a certain outlook and hash and this is who i am and i'm unmovable i'm 53:12 unshakeable i cannot see anything else and there's nothing worse in life than being trapped in your personalistic house there's nothing worse in life than being trapped in an identity that you probably outgrew many years ago but are too afraid to 53:33 admit it do not let your home become your grave do not limit yourself from becoming the person you are truly capable of becoming and this loops back into nothing but this will conclude this is why the coin got all davins 53:47 shallow toppil isha es pribitna what does it mean that a woman shouldn't miscarry so first of all what's interesting about this is it's repetitive because we didn't go through it but you'll see earlier on in the villa the coin got the 53:59 diamonds that women should give birth savvy's ibrahim should give birth and they should have healthy children then obviously implicit in that is what is what that they shouldn't miscarry so why the need to state that again you know how we 54:13 describe rosh hashanah we describe it as hayom haras now we often translate it as hayao maharashtra today the world was created but that's not actually what harass actually means instead it means today literally translated hara means what pregnant today the 54:35 world became pregnant because you know what rosh hashanah is rosh hashanah is a day that is pregnant with potential and what does every single woman fear most over the course of pregnancy of losing that potential see the worst thing in 54:56 life the worst thing a terrible thing in life is when you have potential and then that potential is gone when there's a miscarriage of potential the beauty of these days is the world is pregnant with potential we each of us 55:14 are pregnant with potential and so what does the coin go laven let them miscarry because how often in life do we begin the year pregnant with potential but then we squander the opportunity we miscarry the opportunity and we never bring 55:33 it the full term that's the final tepila of the coin godo the coin godzilla says about his fledgling people if we only understood what potential there was in these days if we only understood what potential there was in the world 55:53 and i want to tell you something it doesn't matter what you've done and it doesn't matter where you're from and it doesn't matter you're a ballast chuva you're an ffb you're on your way you're not from you are from this 56:05 that doesn't matter what you were the only thing that matters is what are you ready to become that's all that matters because whoever you want to be whatever you want to be you are pregnant with that potential yom harass and 56:24 the coin god has one simple trilo because you know i think it's something amazing when the coin goddale would look out and he would see the masses you ever wonder like if you looked at klaus through the coin god those 56:40 eyes what would you see the coin god so what does the zeidas see when he sees his inner when he sees his children grandchildren potential like that's the great part about grandparents right parents see everything right grandparents only see the 56:56 good stuff right the only and it doesn't matter what you do right i disclose uh babysit for my granddaughter this past uh this past friday and i set her down i was giving her lunch i did a very good job 57:08 i was giving her lemon i was giving her lemon she looked me straight in the eye she spit it right out purposely purposely nervously like oh you're so cute oh that's so beautiful i remember like if one of my kids 57:21 would have done that as i whatever i said because grandparents only see the beauty they only see the good when the coingodo would look out at the clow so what would he see he would see men women children pregnant with 57:38 potential and in that moment he would utter attitude pre-bitna please akadespar who don't let them miscarry please don't let them squander the year please don't let them miss this opportunity please don't let them yet let another year go by without 58:01 becoming the people they are truly capable of becoming so it turns out that the teal of the coin god gives us everything we need in order to be happy and successful in the year to come make a good material gash 58:18 mia's plan remember about the power of change keep your optimism and hope be independent do not put your keys of your happiness in anyone else's hands remember the power of pure dialogue with the ribonucleolum don't wait for your personalistic house 58:40 to collapse in order for you to rebuild it but recognize that more often than not the structure you built for yourself in some previous stage in life probably is not the right one for you now find the power to pivot 58:57 find the power to evolve find the power to change and lastly let us not miscarry the beautiful potential of this coming year these days are pregnant with potential we are pregnant with potential if we only understood the power of a 59:17 series you know i've often thought that you know if i were if i were structuring the jewish calendar i think what i would do is i would put yom kippur right after rosh hashanah because i think the problem that many 59:29 of us run into is we come out of rosh hashanah on an incredible high and then what happens like you go to work you go to work right or like you just you're you're once again reimmersed in everyday life and 59:44 i know it's that seriously so it almost sometimes feels like by the time i show up on monday night oh not monday night wednesday on paper wednesday night right wednesday night for call nigeria it almost feels like i'm starting again 59:57 like i'm starting again it's not the way it's supposed to happen it's supposed to be a continuation but more often than not it doesn't happen that way but that is our avodah to recognize that we are pregnant with potential and 1:00:09 to decide what are we going to do with it because if you do not decide what you're going to do with your pregnant potential now then more likely than not we just simply miscarry it it just simply goes away it's 1:00:24 easy come easy go we have to decide what we're going to do with that potential for this year what we're going to build how we're going to change how we're going to evolve and how we're going to internalize all of 1:00:36 the messages of the teal of the sushi to take this tfilo with us to use the tenants of this prayer to meet hashem and form the way we live the year to come do we make plans for the year to 1:00:49 come where we structure our lives we shall find the hashem to rebuild to evolve and to change in whatever areas may be necessary and then that's us well we want more than anything and there's still time it's only monday night 1:01:03 you know keepers not until wednesday night a lot could happen in two days the third base amitus could come down from shamayim the mashiach could come we could be zohar to be standing together in the base i make this you 1:01:17 know you ladies you'll have a better seat than i will because the courtyard of the base i make this is that's the women's section the men have to stand out on the harabayas right so you'll you'll get a bet you'll 1:01:29 get even up you'll get even a better view right and we should be so humility to see the coin god all we should be see him emerge radiant maracoin from the kobe sakadoshim we should see his lips moving as he 1:01:44 utters those filos on behalf of his beloved children on behalf of cloud israel we should see his hold we should see his hadra we should see him walking in we should see him walking out we should see him being our 1:01:56 shliyak before hashem we should be zucha to all of that this year but if akadesparaku has ordained that it's not to be this year even if we can't see the coin goddamn maybe bishop hashem to hear him whisper these words 1:02:11 into our ears into our hearts and into our souls and maybe to allow them to shape and inform the way we live in the year to come i wish all of you a gemarha simultova should be a beautiful year a 1:02:25 year of personal gula and a year of klali swagulum hirabiamenu amen give me one second
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