“And Isaac loved Esav because [his] game was in his mouth, but Rebecca loved Jacob (Bereishis 25:28).”
The commentaries struggle to understand the meaning of this verse. It appears as if the Torah is telling us that Yitzchak and Rivka played favorites. But could this really be? As parents, we learn to appreciate the differences within our children. We celebrate their strengths, help them to address their weaknesses, and create a special and unique bond with each individual child. No two children are alike; each child is a world unto him/herself, and it is the sacred task of parents to understand, love and connect with each child. Each child is different but should never be made to feel more or less loved than the other. If these lessons are understood and obvious to us (not that we necessarily implement them all the time), they must have been known to Yitzchak and Rivka as well. If so, how are we to understand their behavior?
Rashi explains: “What does it mean “ki tzayid b’fiv, because his game was in his mouth?” Esav knew how to trap and to deceive his father with his mouth. He would ask him, “Father, how do we tithe salt and straw?” His father thereby thought that he was scrupulous in his observance of the commandments (Tanchuma, Toeldoth 8). Esav displayed a false piety and tricked his father into believing he was pious, when in fact, he was evil and morally bankrupt. Esav hunted his father and trapped him with his words. His questions led his father to believe that Esav was genuinely committed to creating and forging a relationship with God.
The Lutzker Rov, Rav Zalman Sorotzin (1881-1966), in his commentary on the Chumash, titled Oznayim LaTorah offers further explanation: Yitzchak was an Olah Temimah, an unblemished offering, and he did not see or experience deceit or underhandedness in his familial home. As such, when Esav asked him questions about tithing salt and straw, Yitzchak believed these questions to be an expression of Esav’s piety. Rivka however, experienced and witnessed deceitful behavior. She saw the chicanery and trickery of her father and brother; she could discern between genuine piety and a falsified façade.
Yitzchak Avinu saw the good in the other, saw the good in the world, for this was the type of home in which he was raised. Avraham and Sarah were people of chessed, kindness, and selflessness. They saw the good in anyone and everyone. This was the home of Yitzchak; this was the chinuch (education) of Yitzchak, and so when Esav asks these questions, Yitzchak takes them at face value assuming that Esav is really trying. Rivka grew up in a dramatically different environment. Lies and deceit were par for the course, telling people what they needed to hear to get what you want was an everyday occurrence. Rivka saw through the questions of Esav, and she realized they lacked genuine depth. As such, she was not convinced of Esav’s piety.
