Shoftim: Absolute Monarchy

Rabbi Silber's Parsha Thought on Shoftim opens with the mitzvah of appointing a Jewish king and a teaching that reads "appoint a king upon yourselves" as a call to crown yourself king over your own desires and reactions. He teaches that while we control very little in life, we are absolute monarchs over our own words, responses, and choices, and that real strength lies in refusing to act on every desire rather than pretending we don't have them. As the month before Elul approaches, Rabbi Silber challenges listeners to identify one or two specific areas of life where they truly do have control and to finally exercise it.

• You may not control your desires, but you always control whether you act on them - that is where your kingship lies.
• Having an improper desire doesn't mean something is broken in you; it means you're human.
• Blaming parents, spouses, or circumstances for our struggles is often a way to avoid taking the control we actually have.
• Elul is the moment to pick one or two areas of real personal control and finally exercise them, rather than trying to fix everything.
• Real monarchy over yourself means ruling your speech and your reactions, even when you can't rule your circumstances.