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0:00 Friends, welcome to this week's virtual drasha. 0:02 This week we have the incredible privilege to do the double parsha of Matos and Masei, and we are concluding our journey through sefer Bamidbar. 0:09 And Matos opens up with a very familiar topic, the topic of nedarim, vows. 0:13 And the pasuk says, Moshe speaks to all of the heads, the tribal leaders, and he tells them the following. 0:18 Zeh hadavar asher tziva Hashem. 0:21 Hakadosh Baruchu has commanded the following. 0:23 Ish ki yidar neder laHashem, if a person will make a neder, a vow, o ish shavua l'Hashem l'esor isar al or he'll he'll he'll swear, he'll make an oath. 0:32 And in that oath he prohibits something onto himself, lo yachel dvaro, do not let your word become profane, k'chol hayotzei mipiv ya'aseh. 0:42 Whatever you say you're going to do, whatever you promise to do, whatever you vow to do, whatever you make an oath to do, follow through. 0:50 Make good on your word. 0:51 And of course, whenever the Torah Hakadosha comes to teach us this how these halachos of nedarim and nedarim and shvuos, of oaths and vows, there's always one central core theme. 1:01 The power of our words. 1:03 Words are powerful. You know, you know, when we're children we often hear the, I don't know, it's a nursery rhyme, "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never harm me." 1:12 And the truth is we may chant it or sing it as children, but as we become adults, we know that it's unequivocally false. 1:18 Sticks and stones absolutely could hurt, but usually the harm that is endured through sticks and stones could be healed. 1:24 But often the harm, the the the profound wounds inflicted by harsh and abrasive words, sometimes could leave a lasting ongoing impact. 1:34 Words make a difference. 1:36 In the context here of nedarim and nedarim, also excuse me, of nedarim and shvuos, of oaths and vows, so the idea is that my words create realities. 1:43 A person makes a neder, makes a vow to do something, that creates a binding obligation. 1:49 A person takes an oath, that oath creates brand new realities. 1:53 But you'll say, "It's just words." 1:56 It's not just words. 1:58 Words create realities for ourselves and words create realities for those around us. 2:03 There's a beautiful Mishnah in Pirkei Avot. 2:06 The Mishnah says in the fourth chapter of Pirkei Avot, Mishnah 20, Ramassia ben Horash Ramassia ben Horash said as follows, "Have a bishlom kol adam." 2:17 Be the first to greet every single person. 2:20 Now, it's interesting this is a beautiful idea. 2:22 We have we have this type of motif also echoed throughout Pirkei Avot. 2:26 "Have a kabbalah kol adam b'seiver panim yafot." 2:28 Greet every person with a smiling countenance. 2:30 But, here Ramassia ben Horash seems to give us a piece of daily advice. 2:34 Make sure to be the first to greet. 2:38 Don't wait for someone to say hello to you. 2:40 Don't wait to say wait for someone to say shalom aleichem to you. 2:42 Don't wait for someone to say good shabbos to you. 2:44 Be makdim. You be the first to go ahead and greet every individual. 2:49 Now, it's interesting to note a little bit historically Ramassia ben Horash lived in Rome. 2:54 In fact, again, he was one of the first people to establish a yeshiva in Rome. 2:57 And therefore, Rav Yisrael Meir Lau in his parsha on Pirkei Avot Yisrael explains that really Ramassia ben Horash is teaching us how to be a Jew in the galus. 3:06 Now, again, adam d'aspa, you have to interact with a whole bunch of people. 3:10 Sometimes amongst Jews, unfortunately, we take certain interpersonal liberties. 3:15 Okay? And we can you know we can push a little bit, shove a little bit. 3:18 I don't know, maybe be a little bit stand-offish. 3:20 Okay, we all love each other. 3:21 We all love each other. 3:22 So, even if the interpersonal interactions are not as they should be, we can give each other a pass. 3:27 But, when you are a Jew in the greater world, you absolutely have to hold yourself to the highest standard. 3:32 Ramassia ben Horash living in Rome says, "Listen, Yidden, here's where we are right now. 3:36 Have a bishlom kol adam." 3:38 You have to say hello to everyone. 3:39 You have to be that smiling face. 3:41 You have to be that bright countenance. 3:44 You have to be that individual who's going to go out of his or her way to greet every single person proactively. 3:49 But, the Maral makes an amazing observation. 3:52 The Maral writes and I quote him, he says "Call Adam." 3:54 What does it mean? 3:54 "Have a Mach to Mishalom." 3:55 Could just say "Have a Mach to Mishalom Adam." 3:57 Go ahead and greet per people. 3:59 People. [clears throat] What do you mean "Call Adam?" 4:01 Every person. And the Maral says Ben Sadiq Ben Russia. 4:08 Who does this apply to? 4:08 That you have to greet every single person? 4:10 Whether the person is a Sadiq, whether the person is a Russia, the person is righteous, the person is wicked, you have to proactively greet every individual. 4:16 The Maral goes on and he explains something so beautiful. 4:18 He says "Shari Russia." 4:20 In the Machsekes as small Russia. 4:21 Generally, a person who is a Russia, a person who is wicked, doesn't usually think of himself as wicked. 4:27 He usually thinks of himself as just a regular guy. 4:29 Or maybe even if he's very talented, even a good guy. 4:32 Super talented at Sadiq. 4:33 And therefore what? Then go talk to him a shalom. 4:36 Therefore, if I do not extend the greeting to the Russia, Yachshov ha Russia she atem avazal reals. 4:41 It reflects poorly on me. 4:43 Do I see if I encounter the Russia and I don't give the Russia a shalom aleichem, I don't greet the wicked person, the wicked person doesn't look at himself as wicked. 4:51 So he says "Oh, Silver is not giving me a shalom aleichem. 4:54 If Silver is not giving me a shalom aleichem, what's wrong with Silver? 4:56 What's wrong with him?" 4:58 And therefore says the Maral, Ramase ben Harish is telling us "Have a Mach to Mishalom Call Adam." 5:03 Be the first to greet all people. 5:05 Sadikim, the righteous. Rishaim, the wicked. 5:08 Just be the kind of person who gives a shalom aleichem, a good shabbos, a hello, a how are you, a not something, something. 5:19 Whether the person is a Sadiq, whether the person is a Russia, be that kind of person. 5:24 And I think to take the Maral a step further, I think what the Maral is sensitizing us to is that sometimes you come across people, we encounter people, and let's be honest, there are some people I do not want to say 5:35 hello to. There are some people I do not want to give shalom aleichem to. 5:39 There are some people I don't want to say good shabbos to. 5:42 For a whole variety of different reasons. 5:45 Some of them legitimate, some of them not legitimate. 5:48 But I think what Masia Ben Harish the Marah sensitizing us to is kavod. 5:53 You have no idea what's happening in someone else's life. 5:56 It's sometimes the people who we look at as wicked, or the people who we look at as misguided, or the people who we look at as the people who wronged us or different things, sometimes it's just something broken inside of 6:06 them that they don't know how to deal with. 6:08 And sometimes you'd be surprised. 6:11 A kind word, a kind gesture, a shalom aleichem, sometimes just a small act of recognizing the humanity of the other, could fill a person with the confidence and the self-esteem to be able to affect the changes in their life that 6:30 their life that they need to make. 6:32 See, you have to live life with with the idea that people are good. 6:38 And therefore, when people do things that are not good, more often than not it's because something's broken inside of them. 6:44 And who amongst us doesn't have something broken inside of us? 6:48 Who amongst us doesn't have something which is in a state of profound and overwhelming disrepair? 6:54 And sometimes it's hard to acknowledge and it's hard to deal with my inconsistencies and with my broken tight, with the things that are misfiring. 7:01 And I feel down on myself. 7:02 Sometimes I don't feel good at myself. 7:04 It manifests itself in all kinds of negative ways to others, with others. 7:09 I think what Masia Ben Harish is seeing what the Marah is trying to sensitize us to. 7:13 Is it when you give a person a little bit of a positive verbal pick-me-up, you go ahead and you acknowledge someone else's humanity. 7:21 You say, "I see you." 7:24 "I see you. Whether I [clears throat] like you or not is a different discussion. 7:27 But I see you. 7:29 I'm going to acknowledge you." 7:31 And and by doing that, by acknowledging another's humanity, do you understand what you do for them? 7:37 Do you understand the power of a positive word, of how it can move a person's entire existence of how sometimes one word, one little spur verbal spark of positivity could ignite a lightning bolt of change because maybe if I'm down 7:54 on myself and someone else sees me, someone else acknowledges me, someone else takes the time out of their busy day with all the things they're doing just to give a shalom aleichem, maybe that'll give me the car to do the 8:07 things I need to do. 8:09 To create the change I need to create. 8:12 Moshe Rabbeinu teaches us in parshas Matos lo yakhol dvaro. 8:16 You make an oath, you make a vow, you make a neder, you make a shvua. 8:19 Your words are powerful. 8:21 Your words create realities for you. 8:25 Your words shape worlds new realities for yourself with just an utterance. 8:29 One neder, one shvua, your life could be fundamentally but it's just words. 8:33 It's not just words. 8:35 Words create realities in your life and Amasei Macharash teaches us that words create realities for others. 8:43 My words create realities for others. 8:47 Your words create realities for others. 8:51 This is the verbal power and prowess that we possess. 8:54 Our words shape our lives and our words shape the lives of others. 8:59 You want to share with you a beautiful story. 9:02 This is a story actually that I saw quoted in Women's Day magazine. 9:09 Somebody sent it to me. 9:10 Women's Day I don't not not normally on my reading list. 9:13 The title of the story is The Miracle of a Brother's Song. 9:19 And I just want to quote to you part of the story. 9:22 Like any good mother, when Karen found out that another baby was on the way, she did what she could to help her 3-year-old son Michael prepare for a new sibling. 9:31 The baby was going to be a girl and day after day, night after night, Michael sang to his sister in mommy's tummy. 9:39 He was building a bond of love with his little sister before he even met her. 9:44 The pregnancy progressed normally for Karen, an active member of the of the Creek United Methodist Church in Morristown, Tennessee, USA. 9:53 In time, the labor pains came. 9:55 Soon it was every 5 minutes, every 3, every minute. 9:57 But serious complications arose during delivery, and Karen found herself in hours of labor. 10:04 Finally, after a long struggle, Michael's little sister was born. 10:08 But she was in very serious condition. 10:11 With a siren howling in the night, the ambulance rushed the infant to the neonatal intensive care unit in St. 10:16 Mary's Hospital in Knoxville, Tennessee. 10:20 The days inched by. 10:21 The little girl got worse. 10:23 The pediatrician had to tell the parents that there was very little hope. 10:27 "Be prepared for the worst." 10:29 Karen and her husband contacted a local cemetery about a burial plot. 10:33 They'd fixed up a special room in their home for their new baby, and found themselves instead having to plan for a funeral. 10:41 Little Michael, like the older brother, however, kept begging his parents to let him see his sister. 10:47 "I want to sing to her," he kept saying. 10:50 Week two in intensive care looked as if the funeral would come before the end before the week was over. 10:55 Michael kept nagging about singing to his sister. 10:59 But kids are never allowed in the intensive care unit. 11:03 Karen decided to take Michael whether he into the to see his little sister whether they liked it or not. 11:08 If he didn't see his sister right then, he may never see her alive. 11:12 She dressed him in an oversized scrub suit, marched him into the ICU. 11:17 He looked like a walking laundry basket. 11:20 The head nurse recognized him as a child and bellowed, "Get that kid out of here. 11:24 No children are allowed." 11:27 The mother rose up strong in Karen, and the usually mild-mannered lady glared steel-eyed right into the head nurse's eyes. 11:36 Her lips a firm line. 11:38 He is not leaving until he sings to his sister. 11:43 Then Karen took Michael to his sister's bedside. 11:47 He gazed at the tiny infant losing the battle to live. 11:52 After a moment, he began tossing in the pure-hearted voice of a three-year-old, Michael sang, "You are my sunshine, my only sunshine. 12:03 You make me happy when skies are gray." 12:06 Instantly, the baby girl seemed to respond. 12:10 The pulse rate began to calm down and became steady. 12:13 "Keep on singing, Michael," encouraged Karen with tears in her eyes. 12:19 "You never know, dear, how much I love you. 12:22 Please don't take my sunshine away." 12:26 As Michael sang to his sister, the baby ragged the baby's ragged string breathing became as smooth as a kitten's purr. 12:34 "Keep on singing, sweetheart," his mother said. 12:37 "The other night, dear, as I lay sleeping, I dreamed I held you in my arms." 12:44 Michael's little sister began to relax as rest, healing rest, seemed to sweep over her. 12:50 "Keep singing, Michael." Tears now conquered the face of the bossy head nurse, and Karen glowed. 12:58 The next day, the very next day, the little girl was well enough to go home. 13:06 I'm assuming that since the story is included in Women's Day magazine, someone fact-checked it, and it's true. 13:12 But, dear friends, you know, there are some stories where whether they're true or not doesn't matter. 13:18 What matters is it could be true. 13:22 There are power to our words. 13:26 And sometimes in a world that is filled with so much difficulty and so much heartbreak and so much adversity and sometimes in a world where inevitably we're all struggling with something. 13:41 A kind word you give to another person can make all of the difference. 13:49 Shabbat Mevorchim Chodesh Av. 13:52 And mission of Av and Simcha with this month comes so much heartbreak and so much sadness. 13:59 And so much of it is because historically of what we've done to each other. 14:04 It's never been our external enemies that have been our problem. 14:06 It's been what we do to each other. 14:09 Dear Chevra our words are powerful and our words create realities. 14:15 Our words create new realities for ourselves. 14:19 And our worlds our words can create incredible new worlds for one another. 14:25 The power of a positive word. 14:28 Have a Makdim Bishlom Kol Adam. 14:31 If you just find a way within ourselves to just take a few moments every day to take infuse a little bit of verbal positivity into the life of another. 14:41 Whether it's a compliment, whether it's a word of chizuk, a word of encouragement, or whether it's just a hello, or even if it's a non-verbal gesture of just a smile. 14:52 Our words are powerful. 14:54 Our words and our gestures could be purposeful. 14:57 Our words build our world and our words could fundamentally change the world of each other. 15:05 Let us hope that in Hashem we will use these coming days to use our words to build beautiful brand new worlds. 15:12 To Hashem use our words to lift up each other. 15:15 And in that in that merit may we be privileged to transform this month, this coming month of Av a month that has been one historically of mourning and sadness transformed into a month of joy, jubilation, national reconciliation, and how about 15:33 Messiah may he arrive in our days amen.
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